the made thing

Book #1: Poke the Box

2012-01-21T11:15:00.001-06:00

26 books in 2012.

Poke the Box by Seth Godin

The quick review? Super short judgmentally charged read about why you need to initiate things. Worth my $1.99? No.

Unless you are a Seth Godin fan to begin with or love soaking up overly simplistic ideas because they're written by a famous person, I really wouldn't recommend this tiny volume. Godin obviously wrote it as a starter title for his new baby, The Dominio Project, to use his entrepreneurial fame to draw attention to his newest venture. It's a fitting love letter to starting new things and taking a curious outlook at work when Godin is doing just that. He's playing into his own curiosity and "poking the box," to use his own terms. This time the box is non-traditional publishing. The concept of a book about starting published by a new and exciting and non-traditional publisher is wonderful and has been lauded by many. But that doesn't make it good. Or worth your money.

From a content perspective, Godin hits on a topic we have all heard a million times: start something. There's really nothing new, no secrets to success you don't already know, nothing life altering.

It's a classic case of not writing to an audience. I find it hard to believe that readers of Poke the Box aren't already "initiators," to use Godin's term for what the general business world calls "self-starters." This concept has been around the block and is found on millions of resumes. I hardly think that someone that doesn't have any desire to change something, be it projects at work or an aspect of life, bought this book because it looked interesting.

Repeating a oft-heard phrase wouldn't be such a problem if Godin took an active stance in his writing. Because concepts in general are intangible and evading being penned down in words, Godin seems to avoid this task entirely. The only times he does show specifics is to rag on so-called friends at how they have failed. And why you're a failure too. Guilt is a tool Godin puts a lot of stock in. Yet, thinking of his readers, people who would respond to this guilt trip think about more initiation in their lives. In other words, they're initiating already. People who don't already initiate probably aren't reading this book.

Godin reminds us constantly that failing in the general sense of the term and failing to initiate are two different things. Not initiating is the only true failure, he says. We can learn from any bad decision but nothing will happen if we don't start. Ah, yes, the concept that something is better than nothing!

While he acknowledges that many people have a fear of starting, Godin, in his broken down sections with pithy titles, doesn't elaborate on how to take steps to conquer this fear. He says simply that starting will defeat it. Catch 22 much? For people who fear start, telling them to start doesn't really help solve that issue because it doesn't investigate where the fear comes from or the real root of the problem. How about breaking down things into small bite sized pieces? If we're going back to basics, it might serve readers well to mention that or any other number of starting techniques.

Of course, you might find his work enlightening. But I'm betting you won't. While it's good to be aware of Godin's concept of writing about starting for a start-up, Poke the Box is an unabashed ode that simply isn't worth the buy.

(Not) Monday Inspiration

2012-01-17T11:47:00.002-06:00

I hope you had a wonderful weekend! The Boy and I did basically nothing except watch How I Met Your Mother obsessively and read for hours in a tent in our backyard. It was probably the best weekend we've had in a long time!

A few days ago I met with the fabulous Jeanette of Scribe Marketing for a chat. She asked me some super tough questions about who I am and what I value to help me figure out what I want in life. Girl gets down to business.

What the heck does it mean to be me?

To help come up with an answer, I started looking into crafting a personal mission statement. You know those pesky things businesses spend tons of money creating to give a cohesive vision of what they want to achieve? Well those also fit for us individuals too. It's the response to a lot of really important questions.

There's a ton of resources out there to help but I found this the most useful. Basically, spend some time thinking about what's most important to you, what you enjoy doing, what you're good at, and all the inverses. I had a much easier time pointing out the things I'm not good at and the things I don't like but that helped me figure out the others.

A Profession

2012-01-11T21:34:00.002-06:00

A few months ago I traded my Massachusetts driver's license for one from Arkansas. I've been a registered voter in Arkansas since I moved to Fayetteville. But thus far I haven't really accepted Arkansas as my home state. It's just a place I live, right?

Since the Boy is on winter break still and we're trying to spend as much law school free time together, he's been meeting me for lunch. Today, January 11th, we sat outside on a blanket and ate our bag lunch.

Let me repeat that. On January 11th we sat outside in the sun and ate lunch.Without coats on.

We sat silently together relishing the warm sunlight. It was wonderful. And I said a phrase I don't regret.

I love Arkansas.

Yes, you heard me. This is my home state now.

Yeah, so professing my love because of wonderful weather seems really superficial, right? Truthfully, it's the culmination of a lot of things. It's taken me almost six years to get to this point as I first moved here for college in 2006. And boy, let me tell you that it wasn't a cake walk for the first 5 years. I've come to realize that Arkansas is still a small town state where everyone knows everyone else in some odd way. It's been a complete privilege to be welcomed and accepted (at least with a form of Southern hospitality where I still have many dues to pay) into a new home.

People have continually taken an active role in helping me develop a life I enjoy. Maybe someday I'll deserve the title of a true Arkansan.

Thank you, Arkansans. I'm proud to call Arkansas my home.

Monday Inspiration

2012-01-09T06:00:00.000-06:00

If you are reading this via a reader or moblie, a portion of the post will not appear!

January Music Mix

2012-01-05T06:00:00.000-06:00

via here

It's official.

The new year is in full swing, although I will probably keep dating things 2011 for at least a while longer.

I'm starting a new fun thing here on The Made Thing--A monthly music mix!

I love music. While the Boy is going to make fun of the songs I pick (because he's lame), I hope you enjoy it.

Imagine waking up on New Year's Day, still in your fancy duds, and looking out on the new day with open eyes. Bittersweet emotions of sadness of a year passing but excitement for a new start.

Let me know what you think!

January Goals: New Year's Edition

2012-01-03T20:32:00.002-06:00

via here

The purchase of a new planner gives hope for a whole new person magically appearing from the depths deep inside. As a list maker, I love resolutions but I'm not so great at keeping them.

Another local blogger, the fabulous Leslie at A Blonde Ambition, used the word "intention" instead of "resolution." Using intention makes me feel that the goals I have are more achievable. So let's start!

Intentions for 2012

Keep on keepin' on with The Made Thing. I've got lots of things waiting in the wings, lots of things planned, tons of ideas brimming. I'm excited to share!

Read a book every two weeks. That means 26 books this year. I'm starting off with All the King's Men.

Exercise three times a week. I'm getting to the age where my level of health now will set the bar for the rest of my life. Kind of scary!

Be financially responsible. This means assessing my purchases before I get to the checkout, returning things I realize I don't want or need when I get home, developing a budget, and just using my mind when it comes to money. All of these things are going to contribute to my plans to pay off student loans, pay my parents back a car loan, and saving up an emergency fund. I'm already saving up for retirement (yay for my retirement plan)!

Take an active role to be happy everyday. This is the biggest and most important of all my goals. Happiness doesn't come from outside sources and I am the only person that can ensure my lifelong happiness. Something I definitely need to work on!

What do you think will be your hardest goal to achieve this year?

Monday Inspiration

2012-01-02T06:00:00.000-06:00

Via here

For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

That Odd Time of Year

2011-12-26T20:09:00.003-06:00

via the talented Pink Sherbet

Well, hello! Long time no see, eh?

It is that weird time of year when Christmas is over and it's back to work for a few days before the next round of holiday cheer and I thought it a good time to have a quick catch up.

I went home for the holiday to my parents' house and had a wonderful time with them. I went to the Pompeii exhibit with Brother at the Museum of Science, took in some outlet shopping with Mom, and helped out at Dad's store! If you are in the Boston area, you need to go check out the Pompeii exhibit. I was blown away by the preservation of the artifacts and the detail of the body casts. A odd cool-creepy! (But this is coming from the girl who loved the catacombs in Paris so it might not be everyone's cup of tea.)

Since I already got my gift of the stand mixer (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!) I wasn't expecting anything much, of course. But Dad surprised me with the beautiful tea pot I'd mentioned I liked here. It is so spectacularly gorgeous in person.

Thanks Pops!

I'm drinking some tea out of it right now and basking in its beauty!

I got home this evening after a long voyage and it was my first time that no one was waiting for me when I got off my plane. I feel very adult like now, going back to work immediately after the holidays instead of getting another three weeks off. Can I go back to a college vacation schedule please? Oh, of course I'd love to get paid for those days off while you're at it, okay?

2011-11-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

Now that I have a car, I get to go to a nearby park on my lunch break instead of having to sit at my desk! I don't mind staying at my desk except for that my desk is in the middle of the hallway and people ask me for things. It's quite annoying because I can't say no, go down the hallway to my coworker. Is that bad?

But going in my car means I can get a lot more reading done! I have a bookcase full of books I need to read and feel guilty for my book buying addiction. Okay, maybe more than just a bookcase. Our TV antenna is positioned just right by a stack of books. There's a perpetual stack next to my bed. There's some on tables around the house. You get the picture. This girl needs to do some serious reading!

To ease into reading again, I picked up Melissa Bank's The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing. No, it's not how to put a nasty worm on a lure or how to properly load a shotgun. The title comes from one character's idea that dating is like hunting or fishing. But the book is a lot more than just about male-female relationships. It's a lot about finding one's place in the world in your twenties and finding a partner takes precedence at that point in a lot of lives, not just women so it's a major theme.

There are a ton of these kind of books out there in the chick lit arena so why do I recommend this one? Because the writing has such a bite to it you won't want to put it down. Bank has a clean, unmuddled narrative voice and her characters, especially the protagonist, have an sharpness to their lines, a sharpness that creates an intimate distance. They don't use this sharpness with everyone--just the people with whom they feel comfortable and familiar--but the sharpness is tingled with an acidity that makes those close people keep a distance. Bank's writing reveals a isolation and loneliness in just a few words but instantly reveals feelings a lot of twenty somethings have.

Where do I fit into this world?

Best part, this book will have you laughing and chuckling your way through. Can't get better than that! Do I recommend? Yes! Also a great gift for your girl friends this holiday season!

Bonus!

And because I'm feeling particularly generous today, I'm also going to say that The Adjustment Bureau is a great movie! It's at Redbox right now and is so worth your $1.33 (What is with that? They increased from $1 here in NWA)!

It's a wonderfully interesting, uplifting movie. I cried multiple times throughout the movie. Always the sign of a good one. If it can make me feel to the point of tears, it's a keeper!

New Addition to the Family

2011-11-15T06:00:00.000-06:00

There is a new addition to our household! No, it’s not apuppy (I wish!).

But it’s something I’ve been longing, pining, dying to own forquite some time. My mom, in her infinite wisdom, found a deal for a 6-qtKitchenAid Stand Mixer! It’s now tucked into a new home on my counter, in allits onyx glory.

I’ve been dreaming of owning one for a long time, probablysince I first used my mother’s to make cookies as a kid.

The smell of creamed butter, sugar, and vanilla waftingthrough the air is soothing to me. I adore the feeling of a hollow soundingwarm loaf in my hands fresh out of the oven, cutting into the crackling crustand eating a slice with the simple topping of cool butter. Whenever I becomestressed, you will find my home smelling of pie crust and cinnamon. It’s aphysical experience that helps me deal with the psychological stresses of life—thesensual always outweighs the cerebral. Producing a physical object I can holdin my hands quiets all the little nit-picking voices and worries I bottle upover time.

But, oh, the troubles I had making even the simplest things withmy hand mixer! I would get my ingredients together and proceed to spray themaround my open floor plan front room, all over the kitchen, on the living roomfloor, across the dining room table. It was so frustrating and completelydefeated the purpose of baking for me. It was a pain in the rear!

Now, I have a new weapon in my arsenal and I plan on usingit to make the things I never could with my little dinky hand mixer. I christenedmy mixer with Tollhouse cookies, a familiar taste that has a story. I grew upnot far from the original Tollhouse Inn, where Ruth Graves Wakefield inventedthe chocolate chip cookie. Story has it that it burned down years ago but the Innsign still remains (check out this first hand account!). Mrs. Wakefield, a dietician who specialized in traditional homecooked meals, would probably be appalled to know there’s now a Wendy’s whereher Inn once stood.

Via here.

Yet every time I see the sign, I salivatefor Tollhouse cookies.

After testing the waters with chocolate chips, I moved ontosomething more advanced, something impossible to make with my devil hand mixer—FrenchMacarons!

They came out well, I am pleased to say, although I don’thave anything to compare. I never ate a macaron the whole time I lived in France!I lived too far south, in Montpellier,to get any Parisian macarons and spent my money on cheese when in northern France.I combined a recipe from Martha Stewart and techniques from other macaron obsessedbloggers (um, woah!) to get the perfect feet and then filled them with Nutella I had tuckedaway in my cupboard. I miss true French Nutella! American Nutella is far lessnutty and fresh tasting, more sugary with less decadent flavorings.

I am super excited to make all sorts of goodies to send forthe holidays to friends and family! I’m starting in right after Thanksgivingsending out cards and boxes of sweet baked good love.

Monday Inspiration

2011-11-14T06:00:00.000-06:00

via here

November Goals

2011-11-07T16:30:00.000-06:00

If you visit my blog, instead of reading it in some type of blog reader, you'll have noticed two little bars on the right side. For the rest of you, they look like this (excuse the odd wonky-ness as it is written for a sidebar):

Networking 4x4
Goal: 8
Current: 1

12.5%

START

END

25 Days of Writing
Goal: 25
Current: 3

12%

START

END

This month I've made some goals and so far I'm doing pretty well!

The first is a networking challenge from Classy Career Girl called the 4x4 Challenge and I'm doing her 30-day plan. So far I'm right on track and even met with Lissa, her husband, and their little tyke today at lunch. I'm counting them as one since it's one family unit. I've got my 4x4 list for this month and I've got a plan. It feels great to get out there! Having a car has made this type of goal possible and I am so thankful to be in the position I am. I am a really outgoing person, almost to the point of outrageous, and it feels really great to be meeting new people again.

It's also National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, and while I can't commit to writing a 50,000 word novel in a month (insane!), I've made the goal to sit down and write ten solid pages 25 days this month. Of course, some days a large portion of those pages is going to be pure crap but I really need to get back into the habit of writing on a regular basis. I'll be honest and say that I'm not doing so hot and been feeling a bit under the weather. But I'm on track still. I'm worried that Thanksgiving is going to make it impossible to achieve this goal but I'm determined to make it work!

What are your goals for the month?

Monday Inspiration

2011-11-07T06:00:00.000-06:00

via here

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T09:16:00.002-05:00

via here

Happy Halloween everyone!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend and are having a wonderful Monday! I meet Governor Mike Beebe on Saturday--exciting!

Yesterday we celebrated the fall season by snuggling in bed to ward off the morning fall chill, took a drive to see the colorful trees, and carved pumpkins. The Boy tried to get me to watch American Werewolf in London but I didn't make it very far. I'm not one for scary movies. I watched Tangled instead and the Boy, after much eye rolling, left the room. No judgment, okay?

It's cold in Massachusetts so almost all of my costumes were hidden under coats and mittens. This year they have snow! It's the earliest I can remember snow on the ground--I remember years of it falling in the sky on Halloween but not sticking. The Boy, on the other hand, remembers it being too hot to wear a costume and walking around in a t-shirt.

I think my favorite part was after we were done, my brother and I would pour out our haul on the living room floor and count out how much we had, trade for things we liked better.

What are you Halloween traditions?

We read Sleepy Hollow by candlelight with our pumpkins lit and candy at the ready for any trick-or-treaters that come by. Last year we had only two since we live in a college/sketchy area of town. We of course gorge ourselves on the left overs, so don't worry, our candy doesn't go to waste!

For the best Halloween mix for pumpkin carving, check out this one on 8tracks!

And for some awesome fall and Halloween themed photos, go check out this young photographer's 365 project!

Have a wonderful Halloween!

About in AR: Off to Conway!

2011-10-28T11:06:00.001-05:00

This afternoon we'll be on our way to Conway for a short stay for Democratic Party what-nots! Although I'll be in a meeting, my mind will be on all the things I miss about Conway (never thought I'd say that!).

Conway, oh, Conway

Conway is a pretty big town for Arkansas, home to an American Idol winner, three colleges (one of which is my Alma Mater) and more than one post office. It's also home to a lot of interesting Arkansas lore that gives you a good idea of what Arkansas is like.

When I first moved to Arkansas, Conway was my landing spot! I'd never been in the South before so moving to Arkansas was a big change for me. I remember asking a hotel receptionist on my first day where a post office was and garnering the southern drawled reply "Well, ma'am, I really just don't know. Conway is just too big!" I was completely baffled. Conway? Too big? Yes. It's huge by Arkansas standards! It's deceiving because of urban sprawl and the amount of apartment complexes that increase population ten fold.

What's halfway between Pickles Gap and Toad Suck?

Most places have boring names for places, Conway itself is named after something to do with the original Swiss settlers (family name, town in Switzerland, etc) or is the name of the first train to pull into town. Originally a train station town and was started by a railroad company, trains are kind of a big deal. If you go to City Hall, you'll find a little park with train parked on a track that goes no where next to track that is currently in use. But Conway is between two places that have more interesting stories behind their monikers.

In front of City Hall, you'll find Toad Suck square complete with a Times Square-esque ticker and a mural. Toad Suck Daze is a festival in May, threatened annually by tornadoes. Festival goers keep moseying along to the sounds of carnies, things frying, and tornado sirens. The name has to do with the water level of the nearby Arkansas River; it either comes from the bastardization of "tôt sec," French for early dry or from the local's analysis of the people who waited for the river to rise to travel in steamboats who would wait by "sucking on alcohol till they blew up like toads." You can go see the Toad Suck Dam that now enables you to go along your merry way without having to blow up like a toad from massive alcohol consumption.

Pickle's Gap, basically a quick tourist trap stop on the way to Branson but still worth a visit if you're passing by, also has a cute story around it's name. A guy, with barrels of pickles, is on his way northward and tragedy strikes when his wagon wheels become stuck. Instead of trying to repair and go on his way, he decides to set up shop and sells his wares. While the pickles aren't very good, the fudge is awesome.

Am I a Member? What?

The one thing to know, when dining out, is that Conway is in a dry county. Conway might go wet someday, and probably will to build business, but for now you can blame Captain Martin and the Methodists for the lack of libations. Hendrix College was originally in Altus and the townspeople didn't like the Yankee teaching staff so they decided to move the college and Captain Martin and a local Methodist preacher wanted Hendrix badly. But Conway was a drunken town full of mud and wallowing pigs. So they cleaned it up, made it dry, and now Hendrix is the best known party school in Arkansas! Martin Hall, the men's residence hall, go make a yearly visit to Martin's grave, located on campus, to give the guy something to drink.

But the real secret--restaurants still serve up alcoholic concoctions, if you know the drill. If you go to a restaurant and they ask if you're a member, try by saying yes first and see if they ask for your membership card. If not, you're good to go, otherwise you'll have to pony up around $5 to "join" to be able to eat at the establishment. Some places have separate seating for non-members so if you don't plan on partaking, ask if that's an option. Liquor stores don't exist in the county but if you feel the need, drive down to Maumelle to Lake Liquor and watch comical college kids making their pilgrimages on Friday evenings.

Food, Glorious Food!

After three years of living in Conway (I escaped one year to France), I have a list of my favorite places.

Hog Pen BBQ: If you go to one place, this is where you need to go. Get a pork sandwich with hush puppies and a sweet tea. Then be in BBQ heaven.

Gusano's: The original is in Little Rock and I'd recommend that one over the Conway location but their pizza is really awesome.

Stoby's: Over by the UCA campus is a tiny house that serves up sandwiches and amazing cheese dip. Get there early because you will miss out otherwise. When I say it's small, I mean it's doll-house proportions. But don't worry, the food isn't.

Due Amiche: For those of you that are on a tight budget, this was my "I'm starving but I'm broke" place when I was in college. Huge pizzas for pretty cheap, endless bread baskets before your meal arrives, huge plates of pastas. And it's pretty good to boot!

Mike's: For a high-class place that was, when I started at Hendrix, pretty much the only place to get a good glass of wine, Mike's is the place to go. I've only been there once so I can't say much other than I had a great time with friends!

ZaZa's: I have never been here but it's created quite a stir. It's located in the Hendrix Village, Hendrix's attempt at creating a "community" around the campus. It's an odd place, really, compared to what it was. I used to shoot archery where a house now stands. ZaZa's serves beer so it's a popular place for Hendrix students, some of whom live right above in new apartments. The Boy, ironically, lived our senior year above where a Panera stands now.

While I was in college, I hated Conway. Ironically, I often can't wait to drive through just to stop at Hog Pen and grab a bite to eat.

And We're Back!

2011-10-27T16:28:00.004-05:00

An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail

The Made Thing is back from hiatus, decisively!

I've gotten together a solid idea of what I want out of this blogging relationship. I started this blog out of a need for a creative outlet in my life. Sharing is a really important part of the creative process to me and I haven't been doing it enough. But blogging has been a chore because I wasn't writing things I wanted to but trying to pander to readers of other popular blogs rather than creating a blog I like.

Life right out of college is a bit weird--it's an established yet uprooted feeling. I want change and newness but I want to feather my nest. I want to make new friends, start off on a career path, make a beautiful home. But I live in a icky cocoa brown-walled apartment with a cricket problem, work in a job rather than a career, and most of the people I interact with are old enough to be my parents. There are so many directions to go in, it's hard to pick one and focus on it enough to get somewhere.

So I asked myself, where does The Made Thing fit into all of this? Do I still need to blog? Want to? Should I?

Yes, yes, and more ecstatically yes! They say that you are more likely to achieve your goals if written down. So let's get to it!

I promise
... to lead a professional work life, complete with classy work attire, fitting makeup, and amazing networking skills
... to not keep up my home life and maintain a neat, warm, patient and loving home with the Boy
... to not neglect myself and to remember my own needs are just as important as those of others around me

When I first moved to Fayetteville in August of last year, I had enough money to stay until around Christmas while searching for a job. The deal was if I didn't find a job in that time period, I would buy a one-way ticket for the holidays instead of a round-trip. I was so determined to find a job that I went through the phone book and cold called to find out as much as I could about Northwest Arkansas. I found a job within two weeks and was promoted after six months.

I'm always a little sheepish when it comes to talking about goals for myself. I get all emotional!

But it's now time to go kick butt. Bring out the phone books!

Welcome, Welcome!

2011-10-12T21:24:00.002-05:00

For those of you who are Elousion readers who have stopped by:

Thanks for clicking through! I'm on a poorly timed hiatus for a bit to gather some thoughts but I wanted to give you a warm welcome.

Since I'm taking a short break, check out some of my most popular posts to get an idea of what I've written about in the past.

Doughnut Fun A snarky guide to political events About in Fayetteville Interview from Black Brain Drain

Add The Made Thing to your readers, if you like at least one of these past posts. Give it a chance and if you don't like it, delete it from your feed if my babbling gets the better of you. In any case, welcome!

Blank Pages

2011-10-11T12:56:00.002-05:00

via here

I know, I know.

I'm taking a haitus to get some things done and write some really intense posts. And also to give me some time to decide what I want this blog to encompass. I don't like the fluff I've been writing and am considering changing that.

You'll see how it goes, soon.

I promise.

Where I was last night.

2011-10-01T07:21:00.001-05:00

Faulkner's grave site.

Scenes from the Weekend: Fall is Here

2011-09-26T13:01:00.003-05:00

Driving down the highway with the windows open, a rural road with twists and turns, bumps that jump you from your seat. The windows are rolled down and the wind blows through your hair. You inch closer to the window, wanting to feel the wind through all your hair, not just the few strands at the sides, your head is almost out the window. Leaves have started to call and every so often they crunch beneath the tires. He smiles at you and you smile back and laugh as he veers to crunch another. The sun, still warm on your jeans, almost hot, is shining down between the tree limbs, casting blurred shadows on the road ahead. The wind picks up and more leaves fall from the trees, encasing the drive in a rusty brown.

Books are stacked and lined up on tables beneath a tent and, giddily, you look with excitement at where to start. The smell of musty pages mingles with the overpowering perfume of old ladies as you belly up to a table. Everything else disappears as you focus on the words written on the spines, some comical, others wonderful. When one interests you, you pluck it from the lineup, its cover sliding against the others. Its weight in your hand is pleasing as you inspect its binding and the worn pages creak as you open it, flipping through. There's writing in it in a hand no one uses anymore that you can barely read. You glance up as a woman inches by in the packed tent, the sides dancing in the breeze and everyone leaning over the stacks of bent covers. You toss the paperback into your basket and keep on till it's brimming with stories, the sweet smelling pages between each cover telling a different and new life.

In the car again, it has started to get dark and glancing into the mirror, you notice the sky is pink and purple, quickly turning orange and red. You flick on your lights as the tree line becomes darker and at the next gas station, you pull off onto the gravel. You leave the engine running and hear the brake engage and hop out onto the gravel, the stones talking beneath the soles of your boots. The engine hums as he grabs your hand and pulls you close to him, his chest warm against you back and his head perched on your shoulder as you both watch the sun slide below the horizon, the colors in the sky change from orange to red to dark blue and then, at last, to black.

Friday Update

2011-09-23T13:19:00.001-05:00

I know I've been getting a lot of new readers this week. Thanks for taking a look.

For all the new people, I do post regularly, and try to daily. I'd love to be added to your readers!

This week has been particularly draining. A coworker was hit by a car while on the job Wednesday and passed away yesterday from severe injuries.

Another coworker, when I asked him this morning how he was holding up, said he felt like a wet rag wrung out. Last night I said the same thing to the Boy. I feel like a rag, drowned it tepid water, wrung out, stomped on the floor, and shoved around in the dirt. For a moment I'll think everything is calming down for a bit and then something happens that brings me almost to tears.

I will resume posing again, hopefully after this weekend, although it might not prove to be very restful.

Notice Every Day

2011-09-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin

Scenes from the Weekend: Special Dought Edition

2011-09-19T09:00:00.000-05:00

Rain foiled most of my weekend plans and it was generally a miserable weekend weather-wise. We missed our opportunity to walk in the woods Saturday and decided to go up to Rogers to look for sheets for the new mattress. The Boy felt like dressing preppy and I ironed a shirt for him just so he could wear his favorite fall jacket--he ended up getting soaked to the bone while leaving Target. Poor kid! The rain let up as soon as we got into the car so we walked around the outdoor mall and bought a doughtnut pan! Sunday we went for a walk in the woods and made chili.

I also made doughnuts and they were tasty. Because I'm just so awesome, I used my own recipe based on a number of ones across the internet.

Get you ingredients together. Realize you're missing a whole bunch of stuff. Get in your car and do to the really overpriced store closest to your house because you will be damned if you go back to Walmart on a Sunday, again. Like really, those church goers will literally damn you.

Put a small pot of apple cider on the stove to reduce it down and make a more apple tasting doughnut. Cream your butter with your shitty hand mixer that you bought at Target for $7 a few months ago.

Remember to wait and let the butter be really soft because last time you didn't and the motor blew up and caught fire and you put it out by shoving it in the sink and filling the sink (you unplugged it first though, right? yes!).

Measure out your brown sugar by packing into the measuring up to ensure an accurate measurement. After packing in about 1/2 of the required amount, get pissed that it is sticking to your fingers and just dump a bunch in. That looks right, doesn't it? Forget that your boyfriend is hypoglycemic and that excessive sugar will kill him. Now cream it with the butter. Or just spray chunks of sugar around the house with your demon hand mixer. Either works.

Add an egg and mix together. You start to smell burning oil and the motor makes a funny noise but ignore it and keep going. Tell yourself that if the thing lights on fire, you can hand mix it the rest of the way at this point.

In another bowl, mix the dry ingredients together. Try not to spray flour all over your face when closing the bag. Your winter complexion of a lovely alabaster paste is starting to set in and you really don't need to accentuate it more.

Add the dry to the wet a little bit at a time. When the motor starts to struggle, it's time to add in more liquids! Realize you forgot about the apple cider on the stove and that the burning smell earlier was actually the cider, not the motor. Whoops.

Put some more on and wait impatiently while you add your buttermilk (that thing you forgot at the store and probably could have replaced with sour cream and milk if your sour cream wasn't nasty green when you pulled it out of the fridge) and some maple syrup (liquid gold from your relatives up in Yankee land! Use this sparingly, your supply has to last till Christmas.).

Once the cider has boiled for a few minutes, add it into the mixture. Watch the mixture foam and realize that adding a boiling liquid to something with baking powder and soda in it probably wasn't a good idea.

Using a spoon, scoop some into the greased doughnut pan. Remember that you are not very good at spooning things as you dump gobs on everything within arm's reach. Devise another stratgey involving a zip-lock bag.

Your significant other, seeing your epic struggle to find an appropriate solution, helps you by holding up the bowl as you scoop, rather shove, the batter into a bag and sip the corner off. Who needs fancy piping bags!

After feeling super smart when your male counterpart is astounded at your resourcefulness at filling the pan, figure out a way to put the bag you've now filled with all the batter down without it oozing out everywhere. You were just had to be so smart, didn't you?

Bake the doughnuts at 375 for about ten minutes and check on them constantly because you really have no idea how long this should take. When they look done, pull the out and imagine them gently falling out of the pan. Burn your finger trying to pry them out. Use a fork. Slam it on the rack. Do what you have to do. Realize that you now have one decent looking doughnut among a hoard of mutants. Think about all those other bloggers with gorgeous food and photos. remember that you are not so great at this cooking/blogging thing and that this was a terrible, terrible idea.

After the second batch, you've got it down. Crisco that son of a bitch pan till it's oozing with the grease you were trying to avoid by baking these "healthy" doughnuts. Pipe in that gunk and slam it into the oven for the final round. These doughnuts are going down. Into your stomach.

While waiting for the last batch, bite into one of the mutant ones and realize, hey, these are pretty awesome tastey. And know you made these without a recipe. Feel awesome. Forget about the last batch until you smell something burning.

Make a glaze with some confectioners sugar and some cider over the stove by boiling it to soft set. Let it cool. Tell yourself you're letting it cool. Shove your finger into the sticky goodness. Scream in pain because it is still searing hot. Retreat to watch the weather (tornado warning!). Later, glaze the doughnuts and let them set on a plate.

Be proud. Eat a few. And then one more. Think about vomiting later because it was way too much sugar and your fat butt should have put that last one back.

How was your weekend?

Be Present

2011-09-19T06:30:00.000-05:00

All the details of the life and the quirks and the friendships can be laid out for us, but the mystery of the writing will remain. No amount of documentation, however fascinating, can take us there.
V.S. Naipaul

Cherish Rainy Days

2011-09-17T21:23:00.005-05:00

via here

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. ~Langston Hughes

Weekend Links!

2011-09-16T13:00:00.002-05:00

Via here

Fall has come early to Northwest Arkansas it seems! Temps have been in the 60's-70's and it's been cloudy and rainy off and on. I'm excited for fall weekends! It's football, hot cider, and snuggling udner blankets. I also plan on continuing my quest last year to make bread on a regular basis, starting up this weekend.

I hope you're enjoying some nice weather wherever you are!

Check out this paperbag skirt tutorial looks easy and awesome. With the temperature cooling off there's no better time for boots and a skirt!

Fall means apples and leave and maple syrup for my yankee soul. I want these apple doughnuts from Russell Orchards in Massachusetts so badly but maybe these will do!

For even more apple-y goodness, I might make this since doughnuts are such a pain in the rear, with the frying and all. It was on the cover of Southern Living this month and I've been dreaming about it with a nice cup of tea on a cool fall afternoon in our backyard!

This weekend I plan on going to the Farmer's Market, walking in the woods, making the above skirt and some bread! Also, we might go check out the Tontitown Swap Meet that's this weekend!

Epic moments from last night

2011-09-15T12:18:00.001-05:00

Last night at the Brady the Flaming Lips put on an amazing show yet again. Here's a few more photos I snapped--more to come!

The audience!

2011-09-14T20:35:00.001-05:00

At the concert!

2011-09-14T19:19:00.001-05:00

Hey all!

2011-09-14T11:49:00.001-05:00

I'm using this as an opportunity to try out the new blogger app and to tell you I'll be going to see The Flaming Lips tonight! They're playing a show to replace when the last one was canceled due to a stage collapsing (the one we missed due to the fires)! Watch for some photos tonight!

And my nails are sparkly ready for all the exciting lighting they use!

Rock at Life: Appreciating Friends

2011-09-13T20:15:00.001-05:00

Floating on a Hope

We all have bad days. Today was one of mine. Work was a drag and I found out some news that was miserably depressing.

But because I'm one of those annoying people that always try to find the silver lining, I realized that there are some pretty awesome people in my life. The Boy had a bouquet of flowers and a new Hogs t-shirt waiting for me when I got home. Friends have been texting me with encouraging words. It's the hard times that bring out the best in your life if you're willing to look. I am very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life and need to remember and make those people feel appreciated more often.

Sometimes I find it hard to make sure that others feel special or appreciated but I've been actively making it a more important aspect of my life. It's not something automatic and actually takes some thought and effort to do. But it doesn't always have to be a big thing; sometimes small acts mean more. And the best part? You feel pretty good afterwards too!

Here's a list of ways I've found to make those around me know that they are a positive impact on my life. Some of these only take a few minutes while others take a bit more planning but, overall, these are pretty easy things to do!

Send a short and simple text message to a friend of how much you appreciate the impact the friend has on your life. Sometimes that's all it takes to brighten someone's day.
Birthdays have really sucked for me in the past and whenever people remember mine it makes me disproportionately happy! This one takes a bit more planning but in this smart phone/facebook age, it's pretty easy just time consuming. Take an hour out of a Saturday sometime and go through your friends and put their birthdays in your calendar with a reminder set up for the day and day before. Can't find it? Just ask.
Write a letter to a far away friend. Everyone likes mail especially when it's not just junk mail! I've been writing letters and need to keep at this.
Tell them in straight and plain language face to face how much they mean to you. Everyone forgets to do this and we especially forget to say thank you for simply being a friend. When was the last time you said thank you not for something someone did for you but for just being there?

What do you do to make sure others feel special and that they bring something wonderful into your life?

Weekend Links

2011-09-09T17:44:00.003-05:00

There's a ton of stuff happening in NWA this weekend!

All Weekend: Hot Air Ballons in Harrison!
Friday: LPGA tournament concert with Huey Lewis for free in the WAC lot.
Saturday: Farmer's Market (of course), Polo in the Ozarks, Ozark Writers Live at the Public Library,
Inpsired Lighting Readings with music from The Rhubarbs (with my girl, Katy!)

Start your weekend off right, no matter where you are!

I love when pictures of politicians acting like teenage girls turn up. Oh, Rick Perry.

Guess where I'm going in a few weekends? To Oxford, Mississippi! I'm getting excited reading this guide but my trip has an itinerary full of Faulkner-ness!

If you're in the Arkansas area, check out this Fall Foliage report! While we've had lower temps lately, we're still a ways off from fall colors. My Yankee ways tell me that it should be soon though and I'm too excited too early.

Have a great weekend!

Currently Coveting

2011-09-07T19:26:00.001-05:00

These are the things I'm currently coveting & wish would appear magically on my doorstep (or really this is just to give my mom a billion choices of things to buy me for Christmas)!

I want one of these suckers not because of it but because of all the goodies I could make with it! I found out, when I could finally get my hands on a regular Artisan series one, that the lower series have plastic gears that break when doing some heavy duty work, like bread making. Well what's the use then? The Pro line has all metal gears and a fancy new dough hook design to ensure better kneading. Yes, please! After I (find) and buy a car, I'm saving up for one of these and for a trip to my spiritual home, France.

These are being coveted by gals with a penchant for glitter worldwide. They're the new Miu Miu heels you've been hearing about on the interwebs. There is nothing else out there in that shape of a heel... yet. But who am I kidding? I'd never wear heels that high! I'm a lazy bones when it comes to that. But a girl can dream, no?

I'm a huge sucker when it comes to organizers and Filofax is the mack-daddy of personal organizers. I've been wanting one for ages and even bought refill pages for this year in hopes I'd find one affordable that I'd like. Unfortunately, I bought refills in 4 1/2 by 6 3/4, which is no personal organizer size on the planet. Why Target, why did you trick me!?!

What are you coveting right now?

Rock at Life: Develop a Personal Style, Part 1

2011-09-07T06:54:00.003-05:00

This is the first post in a series of three about developing a awesome wardrobe.

Are you as stylistically scatter brained as me? I want prim and proper heels and peals with torn fishnets and cutting edge leather jackets and smoked eyes. But I really can't settle just with that! I love flowy looks and even muted minimalism. But, sadly, not all those looks fit my body or my closet. I'm just to damn curvy for the skinny jean style to work for me and I know it. But I own a few pairs.

Problem is, I buy clothes that look good on me, and some that don't, but that almost never match what is already in my wardrobe. What's a girl to do? Consolidate and get a clear vision of who you are in clothing and how you want to display your personality.

I'm a girly girl with a bit of an edge. I want to be taken seriously, wear clean looks, and look put together at all times. I especially want to look professional because it is so important at this stage of my life, one year out of college trying to develop a professional path.

The best way to find what you like is to look around! I just started using pininterest and I've assembled some of my favorite items and looks. Make a list of items and styles your really like and set out looking for inspiration for your wardrobe. At this stage, money is no object but it must fit into a cohesive style. Yeah, that body con dress does look hot but does it fit you? And I don't just mean physically; could you see yourself wearing that occasionally? Here's some ideas from my pininterest;

What style do you like and want to embody? Do you feel you're on top of your look? Come back for part two on how to clean it all up!

Scenes from the Weekend

2011-09-05T21:05:00.002-05:00

My weekend was very nice. We left on Friday for Tulsa and spent the weekend with the Boy's family. I was under the weather on Friday so we took it easy and drove to Tulsa in the late afternoon.

There's a cool junk shop on the way to Tulsa and were finally open when we drove through so we stopped to take a gander and give my tummy a break. The Boy bought a few of my birthday presents there, including some awesome vintage Southern Living cookbooks and a skillet that I've been using pretty regularly a while ago so I'd been wanting to stop for ages. They had some really interesting glassware.

We went to a Driller's game! The new stadium has a perfect view of the downtown skyline.

And they had fireworks for Labor Day! They were actually better than the ones I saw on the 4th in Gloucester.

Driving on Saturday in the Oklahoma countryside to lunch!

We ate at Joseph's, a Mediterranean inspired steak place. I quenched my craving for their tabbouleh.

Next door is the Tidal Winery, a local vineyard that makes some pretty awful wine (so I'm told). We got a bottle and it was okay but was super expensive! Worth a visit though because, really, how many wineries are there in Oklahoma? And how many of those are in old school houses?

The view over the vines.

Sunday we went to Chickasha to visit the Boy's grandpa for his birthday and hung out with the extended family.

Today we played tennis for about three hours in the gorgeous weather and we all ended up getting sun burnt! We played two matches and by the time we got to 11-12 on the second match, we decided lunch was too important to keep playing.

I'm so not ready for this week... More vacation please?

2011-09-03T20:56:00.000-05:00

How's your Labor Day Weekend going?

I'm enjoying relaxing at the Boy's parents! It's been great so far. I slept really late this morning and feel so rested for once.

What are you up to?

Southern Flair: Faulkner Part 1

2011-08-30T21:46:00.001-05:00

This is Part 1 of the Faulkner reading series! We're reading Light in August. Care to join? Don't read below if you don't want spoilers!

Start of the Journey

Faulkner is a master of time and he hops around a lot to tell his story. Setting is something he is less a master of, at least in the details--but it gives his work a more ephemeral feel that isn't tied down by the physical.

Yet his topics are so much more about the impact physicality has on our relationships. Don't worry, I won't spoil anything that happens down the road.

Let's take the first few scenes of the novel, where we are introduced to a character whose physical appearance--her swollen belly--illicits a very specific reactions from the people she interacts with. how do the men she meets treat her versus the women? Why does her appearance cause this difference?

A lot of Faulkner's work deals with relationships between women and men and you'll notice a trench in the way he treats his female characters. how does she different from the other women we have met so far? How does she see "traditional values" in relation to her physical appearance and her journey? It's really evident she is a young and naive girl so does this say more about her age or more about the social stigma of unmarried pregnant women?

As for Joe Christmas, who dominates the novel for a long period, his unconfirmed identity in a society that relies on physical identity dramatically changes the way other view him. Until it's mentioned in relation to the murder, all attention is on the cohort. This illustration of race being a deciding factor on the outcome of a person's life is a hot topic for Faulkner and was one of the reasons he was awarded the Nobel prize.

Here's his really famous acceptance speech that always draws a determined smile on my face:

Ladies and gentlemen,

I feel that this award was not made to me as a man, but to my work - a life's work in the agony and sweat of the human spirit, not for glory and least of all for profit, but to create out of the materials of the human spirit something which did not exist before. So this award is only mine in trust. It will not be difficult to find a dedication for the money part of it commensurate with the purpose and significance of its origin. But I would like to do the same with the acclaim too, by using this moment as a pinnacle from which I might be listened to by the young men and women already dedicated to the same anguish and travail, among whom is already that one who will some day stand here where I am standing.

Our tragedy today is a general and universal physical fear so long sustained by now that we can even bear it. There are no longer problems of the spirit. There is only the question: When will I be blown up? Because of this, the young man or woman writing today has forgotten the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about, worth the agony and the sweat.

He must learn them again. He must teach himself that the basest of all things is to be afraid; and, teaching himself that, forget it forever, leaving no room in his workshop for anything but the old verities and truths of the heart, the old universal truths lacking which any story is ephemeral and doomed - love and honor and pity and pride and compassion and sacrifice. Until he does so, he labors under a curse. He writes not of love but of lust, of defeats in which nobody loses anything of value, of victories without hope and, worst of all, without pity or compassion. His griefs grieve on no universal bones, leaving no scars. He writes not of the heart but of the glands.

Until he relearns these things, he will write as though he stood among and watched the end of man. I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal simply because he will endure: that when the last dingdong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking.

I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet's voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.

(Via here)

See you next time for Part 2!

100th Post Surprise!

2011-08-30T06:58:00.003-05:00

Via here

Happy 100th Post!

I'm really excited that today is my 100th post! While I've missed a few posts here and there, I am really proud of myself for sticking with this blog and making a commitment to making it even better.

This month my little blog and I exceeded our goal of 450! This morning we hit 451. I'm trying to grow and I'm starting a few sponsorships/ad campaigns to try to get a lot more viewers and expand it even more. I'd like to thank you for reading my blog too, especially my 10-12 regular readers who keep on coming back. I really appreciate you and I hope that the content you see here is inspiring and helpful and just plain ol' fun.

As well, you'll be seeing some changes to the layout of the blog soon! I'm getting a new header and making it wider to prepare for...

SPONSORSHIP! But for the first month, these are backwards; in other words, they are for free!

But there's some conditions to this free-ness. Your blog must have less than 600 page views a month to take advantage of this, simply because big blogs don't need free advertising! As well, since I really don't have much in the way of Photoshop right now, you'll have to come up with your own button.

So how does it sound? Does your blog have less than ~~600~~ 1,500 pageviews a month? Want to take advantage of this? Leave me a comment with your email address and I'll get back to you. I'm not sure how many buttons I can have yet so I'll work that out as soon as I get a new layout. But I promise, I'll fit you in somehow if you're genuinely interested.

I'm so happy that I am able to do this to celebrate 100 posts of awesome!

I've now upped the maximum page views to 1,500 a month! If you fall in this, please leave a comment for some free ad space!

Scenes from the weekend

2011-08-29T19:08:00.000-05:00

How was your weekend? Mine was busy busy with errands. Looked at another car only to miss out on it and watch it get snapped up by someone else and went to a billion mattress stores looking for something in our price range we could both agree on. Nothing super exciting but I thought I'd share!

I painted my nails using a makeup sponge to create a tarnished glitter effect with green, purple, and silver polishes! I also found all these awesome video tutorials from cutepolish & ordered a dotting tool to try some of them out.

We bought an awesome outdoor set with wrought iron chairs and a table (from Target and Walmart respectively!) for under $100! I'm blogging outside! No more fighting over my hammock!

I've been trying to be good and get back on track--check out this awesome zumba routine to Shakira's Waka Waka. It kicked my butt and I nearly gave myself an asthma attack but boy, it was fun!

Today I really put some effort into my clothing choices and make a really cute outfit involving a pink bow headband. I've been hesitant to wear it because of being made fun of but the Boy convinced me to and it was worth it! Even got some compliments.

This afternoon I got a postcard from Nicole. I love the fisherman riding the lobster.

Are you ready to kick butt this week? I am!

Weekend links!

2011-08-26T04:00:00.000-05:00

via here

So... Yeah. About those goals. Whoops! I'm not doing so good huh? How about you? I hope you're doing better than me. I feel very out of touch with the world this week and need to reconnect. But first, I need to clean my home. Cause it's really bad. I'm not pointing fingers but the Boy has gotten honey all over EVERY SURFACE IN OUR HOUSE. It's a battle between me and the honey bear. I swear. That and those pesky gnomes that leave dirty dishes all over the house.

My plans for the weekend are to conquer the mess, writing a billion blog posts, and paint my nails. Productive, yes?

Blogging for women is bad for women? What? Okay, there are some valid points here but I'm not sure I agree with all of it. Empowerment is bad? Well... That's a whole other post.

Google has a new voice command search thing. Since like June. Evidently I use my phone too much and my computer not enough. Fun try it: swear at Google. It doesn't like you when you do that.

Can I do this? It would be pretty awesome.

Have a great weekend!

Rock at Life: Dealing with Exes

2011-08-23T20:06:00.002-05:00

Via here

Sorry for disappearing for a few days. I know you expect amazing routine content from me and I failed you. I really hate failing at anything, but especially failing my readers. But sometimes you just need to do more important things than blog. This was one of those times! It was the Boy’s last week of freedom, I needed to unwind from a hectic work week, and we maybe found a car for me!

So to win you back, I’m giving you a really juicy and useful post. I don’t like to write too much about myself because, well, it’s boring. Who wants to hear about how I had to repaint my nails three times the other day because I kept touching them against things in my impatience to let the polish dry? Or about how I got my hands really dirty while checking out tires on a used car and then realized I needed to shake the seller’s hand with my grimy paw (whoops!)?

But this subject is something that is really important to me.

Everyone’s had their fair share of messy relationships, some more dramatic than others. I had one really bad, really big one in college. Not to go into details, let me just say it involves a nationally syndicated talk show. It’s cringe-worthy melodrama.

I was really happy to leave that part of my life behind when I left college but, surprise, surprise, asshole has moved to town. Dealing with someone that caused you lots of pain isn’t an easy task.

Whether or not he’s grown up from his habitually vindictive self, there’s the issue of having to deal with him at events. Here’s the tips gathered over the years from all sorts of people:

Wear something that you feel comfortable in and that makes you feel good about yourself. Don’t normally wear 4 inch heels? Now is not the time. You’ll look like a baby giraffe when they’re in that “what are legs?” stage, not the gazelle for which you’re hoping. Or better still, you’ll trip over your own feet and land in his lap. Nothing says “Please take me back” quite like that. Stay classy and you’ll be a million times more attractive than channeling a stripper.

Have confidence in yourself. Whether he broke up with you or you broke up with him, you probably know by now that you don’t need him and are better off without him. You deserve better than him. While it’s fun to exude a general “screw you” attitude when it comes to exes, gracefulness is the best way to show confidence. Remember, you are an adult, not a melodramatic teenager, no matter how the breakup went. Even if he acts like a child doesn't mean you need to.

Under no circumstances should you bring up old matters, rosy or dark. You will think about old times but you’re better off not let him know. When you do this, you’re ceding the high ground and giving him control over the situation by allowing him to possibly control your feelings through reminding you of how he used to make you feel. Take the reins, girl, and talk about something else other than that one time where you did that thing. As they always say, talk about the weather or a non-controversial recent event. And absolutely do not seek closure by asking questions like why he broke up with you. Looking like a raccoon after crying is not a very attractive look for anyone except, well, a raccoon.

On the subject of talking, it’s also not a good idea to talk too much about your new guy, your new duds, or your new fabulous job too much. Yes, you've moved on to bigger and better things and you want to rub them in his face. But that’s not graceful, is it? And if you’re waiting tables and scrounging to make ends meet, give vague answers or avoid questions. You know how politicians do that tricky question avoidance thing? Be Clinton and stay positive. Because it always depends on what the definition of is is.

Liquid courage seems like a great idea here, right? Help numb the pain? No! Bad! It’s not going to help. Sure, one drink is okay, especially to occupy your hands if you’re prone to fidgeting. But we do stupid things when we drink. Dancing on the tables is there is sure to get his attention. Especially when other guys start throwing dollar bills at you. Be yourself, your sober self.

And the stupidest thing you could do, especially while drunk, is hook up with him. There were reasons why you left him, right? So remember those if you feel like this would be a good idea. It is not. If you fear you might do this, bring along a trusty friend and promise to be her wing-girl later on in the evening when the dealing-with-your-dumb-ex time is over. Plus, you’re not missing much, I promise.

Above all, just be your kick-butt self. If he can’t handle you or treat you the way you should be treated, then that’s his problem, not yours. And don’t let it ruin your day. While it’s every gal’s dream to have the ex apologize and grovel, presenting yourself as a confident and suave adult is enough to win at the game.

Rock at Life: Goal Making

2011-08-17T10:30:00.000-05:00

via here

Last week we talked about productivity and methods to achieve it. But sometimes you need to know what you are being productive towards. Yeah, you can just plug through tasks to just get them done and feel pretty good about it at the end of the day. But without some overarching goals, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, especially when you need to do things that are difficult, boring, and just plain no fun.

Tips for goal making:

Pick something you care about! You're going to spend a lot of your time working on this so make sure you want to do this. Not that someone told you and thought it was cool. Now is the time to ask yourself what you're going to gain for doing this.

Be honest. This is the most important aspect of goal making. Why do you want to achieve this so badly? What will you give up? Are you willing to fail? Even after you bet the farm on it? How does your family feel about this? Do they support you in your goals? Is it worth losing them if they don't?

Think about achievability. Yeah, it's pretty bad ass to be President of the United States. But can you really achieve that? Sometimes doing things involved a certain background or financial status. While we're told we can be anything we want to be when we're little, it's not necessarily true. You need certain stepping stones to get to a goal. If you don't have them, are you willing to build them?

Have a way out. For the big lofty goals, it's a good idea to have a semblance of a back up plan and some security in the wings. Make sure you have a safety net. Taking out equity/second mortgage on your home for a venture might not be the best option. Try other routes and do what you feel comfortable with.

Give yourself deadlines. This is as important as making your goals. If you don't give yourself a time frame, you'll never get it done!

Break it down. All of our goals, big or small, take planning, time, and lots of ongoing tasks to achieve. Want to move to another country? Learning the language, getting visas, finding an apartment, all of those smaller tasks take time. Each of them contributes to the final goal. If you set out without doing any of these things, you'd probably find yourself quickly deported for a misunderstanding over cheese!

Know when to give up. Sometimes we can't do it. And it's okay. You are still a fabulous person. And yes, it is okay to mourn. Cry your eyes out for awhile, drink an extra glass of wine. But be ready to move on. Wallowing for too long is never a good thing. You can do something, just maybe not the thing you'd intended.

So what are some my current goals?

Find a car. I wanted to find one before the Boy went back to school (which is next Monday) but the car gods have not been obliging, yet. I broke it down into a bunch of tasks, like research on cars, reading safety reports, craigslisting daily, and actually going to look at them and take cars for test drives.

Write and curate this awesome blog! My goal is to have 600 page views a month by the end of this year. Currently, I've got 324 so far this month! I plan on achieving this by writing content daily, commenting on other blogs, maintaining a twitter account, and finding blogs to sponsor.

Finish writing my novel draft by December. I've been slacking on this lately as I've rerouted time I'd spend on this to the car search and blogging.

I've got others about being healthy, learning things to make me a better job candidate in the future, and keeping up my language skills in French and Spanish but man, it's too long to list!

What are your goals?

Faulkner, Part 1

2011-08-16T20:19:00.001-05:00

I've been a bad person and haven't even finished my own assignment. Mondays are just so busy for me, I'm not sure why I scheduled myself to write and post part one of the Faulkner series! Bad blogger, bad!

I'll have it up tomorrow at some point, most likely in the afternoon. I promise I will also have my regular post at 10:30 in the morning as well!

Pinky swear.

Interview - Growing up Black in LR

2011-08-16T10:30:00.009-05:00

Elizabeth Eckford going to Central High in Little Rock

Nicole is a college friend who just graduated in May. She's an Arkansas native who has just taken off to Boston to start a year of service with City Year. I'm excited and jealous she gets to spend a year in my home state but she is going to be working her behind off! I'd like to personally thank Nicole for answering these questions. I always find it really difficult to ask these kinds since it is such a touchy subject for so many reasons and I'm really thankful that I have a friend who is willing to give answers. Seriously, it's just difficult to figure out what terms to use sometimes let alone actually pose these questions to someone!

Tell us about yourself!

I'm originally from Little Rock, AR, a graudate of LR Central High and Hendrix College. I majored in Politics at Hendrix but my intended career goal is work in education policy. I'm currently living in Boston, MA and working for City Year starting this month. I enjoy tennis, the Red Sox, baking, and relaxing. I like to think that I was born in the South but made for the North. While I'll miss Southern food, which I can make, I have more of a Northern demeanor. As much as I love politics, I don't like to talk about it all the time, but I can make conversations political (not in the D and R way). I'm full of random info and like to throw out stats a lot. That would be the inner social scientist in me.

How do you feel about Arkansas? Do you think you'll return after your year in Boston?

Arkansas is a okay place. I personally just don't think that it's for me because I had been there my whole life and there just wasn't anything there for me. I don't think I'll return unless something drastic happens in my personal life like finances or something happen to my family.

You grew up black in Little Rock, post Little Rock Nine. Do you think this had an affect on your life and education in Arkansas?

I think it impacted me because I come from a family that values education so I understand the importance of the LR Nine. Growing up in now it put into perspective the difficulties that Blacks still face 50 years later. Educationally, we're still behind and the same applies economically. While I didn't deal with racism and hatred like the Nine did, I did face my share of racism for Whites and Blacks. I always found racism, which I wouldn't call it, from Blacks ironic because I chose to focus on education, lived in the suburbs, and talked a certain way I was judged. Those moments taught me that will in some aspects we've progressed, things still aren't where they need to be.

Looking at your move Northbound from a sociological view, you're part of the brain drain from the South, where young educated people are leaving the South to the more "intellectual" and "liberal" areas of the country. Do you associate yourself with this movement?

I would say I'm part of the "brain drain." I see my move as more than just gaining academic knowledge but also helping others and starting another chapter in my life. One that has been in the works for years.

What do you think needs to change to give educated blacks, or any educated person, a reason to stay in the South? in Arkansas?

This a tough question. In my own experience, observing others, research and talking to everyone (parents, teachers, students, admin) there needs to be many things that happen. I think more work needs to be done to the system that will encourage Blacks and others to stay in school. While improving schools is great that also includes bridging a culture barrier where Blacks have been offered poorer education, not expected to attend school, or judgement from others for pursuing education. Improving academically and culturally is one issue. More opportunities need to be offered so that Blacks will stay in state and the South. Create programs that include loan forgiveness for various industries, offer credits to diversify neighborhoods, show that society values them. These sound very cliche and easy, but if that were the case then it would already be done. I think a big one is having more Black role models in the schools, teaching and visiting, will make a difference at least for a young person.

Did your experiences growing up impact your decision to leave Arkansas and to participate in City Year?

My personal experiences did but also my visits to the city and the personal stories I have of others educational experiences influenced my choice. One of the biggest influence came from my cousin who is 11. He comes from a high poverty family, father in jail, and large family. He's been held back a few times so he's only in the 4th or 5th grade now. When he visits my family always teaches him something from math to spelling to basic life skills. It's the challenges and the fact that he doesn't know basic US geography or can read clearly that influenced. I'm thinking to myself that he's another statistic: jail, dead, or working low wage jobs for the rest of his life. The other things that influenced but it's one thing to read statistics and it's another to put a name and face to a number.

What do you look forward to over this next year?

I look forward to learning more about education system in a different place, gaining skills working with kids, growing as a person, and helping kids. I've studied data and researched but actually being in the school is going to be great. If I make connections that can help me further my passion for education that is great too. I sound like a promo for CY but I'm excited to say "hey" to my kids and play games and greet them at the bus stop. I know that for some of these kids I along with the teachers may be the only positive adult influence they see during the day.

Thanks Nicole!

As a reward, I'm sending her to Mike's Pastry in the North End for a dozen of my all time favorite cookies, Almond Macaroons! They're hard to find out of New England though I'm not sure why. But no worry, if you want to try them and you're not in the NE area, they now ship them! (Humm... Christmas is coming up soon!)

Scenes from the Weekend

2011-08-15T10:30:00.001-05:00

Did you have a great weekend? I did! Finally got to just relax at the Boy's parents' house! No fires, not running around town doing errands, just relaxing, swimming, playing on their new Wii. Yes, they are cooler than us and have a Wii. It's good we don't have one though because we'd never do anything if we did.

The Tontitown Grape Festival

My first foot long corn dog that I sucessfully didn't drop on the ground.

Waiting in line for the famous Grape Ice Cream. Deal is there's rides & booths & food & music. You can pay for each ride by getting tickets (rides are about 4 tickets) or get an armband and ride all night. There's also a spagetthi pasta dinner, but since it's $10 a person and we're broke... we didn't get any. I hear it's good though. It's just your average small town fair.

It was delicious!

Post fires in the forest by the Boy's parents' house. This was about 500 yards away. All of these trees are burnt to a crisp.

The annual Cardboard Boat Regatta in the Boy's hometown. Cool in a lame way.

What the boats look like. It's a pretty serious affair though! Also what the people in Oklahoma look like.

Did you have a great weekend? Do anything fun?

Weekend Links!

2011-08-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

Last night the Boy and I went to the Grape Festival and feasted on foot long corn dogs and grape ice cream! The sun was starting to set when we got home so we grabbed our books and a sleeping bag and snuggled up in our backyard and read till the stars came out. It was so cool that we had to use a blanket as the dew set in! Crazy! We're probably going back to Tulsa this weekend to have an actual weekend of relaxation instead of running from fires before the school year starts and possibly look at some cars for me. Car shopping is so not fun. (If you see a car in teh Fayetteville area under $8000 with side airbags and good Consumer Report ratings, let me know!)

Start your weekend right!

A Google a Day is a new version Google-fied of Cyber Safari, which was an internet contest in the 90's in the summer that my family was obsessed with! You'd get clues and have to find websites with the information you were looking for with a little Cyber Safari symbol. Click it and move on to the next clue! Whoever finished first was the winner. I miss Cyber Safari... Plus it makes you smarter!

NPR released a list of the Top 100 Sci-fi Fantasy books! How many have you read? The Boy's mom recently read American Gods and said it was a trip.

And on that note, those two above links are great helpers for accomplishing this list of 30 Habits! These are some really basic ones that make a huge difference in your life if you commit to them. I do a lot of them already but it helps to know what I'm not doing that would be helpful! In the clean desk realm, I'm looking into decorating my desk at work to be a more cozy place. We spend so much time at work so why not make my desk enjoyable?

And a just for fun link: I'm totally coveting this teapot on etsy. Damn expensive international shipping! Otherwise this would be perched on my desk right now.

About in AR: Gator Golf in Fayetteville

2011-08-11T08:36:00.002-05:00

We're trying to spend as much time in the next two weeks doing fun things that we can't normally do while the Boy is in law school. Perched on a hill on College Ave, there is a mini-golf place complete with a waterfall, elephants, and all sorts of other plastic wildlife! We'd been meaning to play a round some cool night and with all the rain we had yesterday (finally!) the 100+ weather broke and it was a balmy 83!

We looked up mini-golf options and decided to go to Gator Golf There are two courses of 18 holes, if you do one course, it's $5, two for $9. If you decide after doing one that you want to do the second, you can add it on later! What convenience for those indecisive types like us. A great cheap date idea in Fayetteville! $10 for about an hour's fun. If it's hot outside, there's a bunch of shaved ice places in the vicinity so we stopped at one in Fiesta Square and shared a monstrous mango-lime shaved ice ($2.50)! The Boy proceeded to drop some on his shoes, my legs, the bottom of the car, and my purse. He's good at that.

This is the bottom of the first course, complete with elephants that spray water out of their trunks and tall giraffes that survey the land. The course goes up around the side of the hill and comes back down around.

Since it's up on a hill, it has an awesome view of town and is great for sunsets. It's in a wooded area and we were waiting for a deer to pop up. The Boy wondered if we shot a deer if we'd get a discount on our golfing. I told him he was horrible. The Boy Scout group that was there thought it was hilarious.

I made a new friend, Elly. She's baller. No really, she's really good at mini-golf. Seriously.

Watch out for the gorillas!

This hole really takes the cake though. The guy who we got our clubs and balls from was obviously a stoner, in a very chill, friendly, go lucky sort of way. I question if this hole was designed this way on purpose... One will never know.

Check out their website for more info!

Don't forget that this week is the Tontitown Grape Festival. We might be going tonight if the rain lets up! We were waiting rain and well, we got it!

An Invitation to Faulkner

2011-08-09T10:30:00.018-05:00

William Faulkner is a powerhouse of Southern literature that deserves to be acknowledged by anyone who wants to experience the south or interact with the south. While his writing style isn’t for everyone and is work is routinely shoved on groaning high school students, I’ve decided to try to read all of his works. Last summer I started reading but became so occupied with family business I never stood a chance. His writing takes time, patience, and is often frustrating. But there is no better time than August to start reading Faulkner again.

“Read, read, read. Read everything - trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out the window.”

While I wouldn’t start with Light in August if you’re not familiar with his style, its worth a shot. I’ve read a few others of his works; I loved The Bear which is really a short novella not a short story. But I also know reading that first sort of ruined others. If you’re into Faulkner or want to get into it there are recommended orders to read his books. And above all, do not read the back puffery of the book with the summary. Ruins it every time. I’m following the advice of the Boy who took a Faulkner class, complete with a pilgrimage to his house in Oxford, Mississippi, with our beloved English professor.

Let’s read Light in August together. We have three weeks left to this month so let’s read 8 sections a week:

August 15 - Sections 1-8

August 23 – Sections 9-16

August 31 – Sections 17- the end!

Unsure about taking on this task with me? Don’t buy it but read the first bit on Google books. If you like it, go out and get it. Libraries always have it. It’s worth the money to buy your own copy but I am a book hoarder so that might not be necessary for you.

If you fall behind or want to read more slowly, you can always skip these posts and come back to them later.

Rock at Life: Productivity and Personal Time Management

2011-08-08T10:30:00.007-05:00

There's a lot of time and productivity management techniques, devices, and programs out there. And a lot of junk. It seems like the only way to figure out what works for you is to try it or read up a lot on it for the ones that seem really extensive. Here's a couple to get your productive juices flowing.

Pomodoro Technique:

This is used and recommended by gobs of bloggers. It's basically make a list of tasks to do and work on one at a time in 25 minute segments, a break between each segment and a long break after 4 segments of work. I'm not sure how I feel about the whole timer deal. Do I really need a timer ticking away to tell me I'm supposed to be working hard? What if it doesn't take 25 minutes? I'm all for setting aside time for finishing projects without distractions but I'm not sure this will work for me. I need some flexibility!

GTD of Getting Things Done:

This is so involved and even scary to some (including me!). This wiki here is a really good breakdown of what it's all about. It's a lot of different things at once, not just daily task organization and prioritization but also life goals. Personally, I'm really intimidated by this and the amount of commitment it takes for the 5 step plan. Are we addicts of non-productivity like the users of the 12 step plan? I know this one it not really for me but certain parts of it are useful. It's too much GTD and not enough G-ing TD! The goal planning aspect is really interesting and something that is lacking in so many productivity techniques though it should be noted. Check out this website for a neat breakdown of GTD.

While these are only two techniques I'm sure there are plenty of others out there. I see myself as a picker and chooser of a few different types, really, since I like to work on one task at a time and like to plan for the big picture. But at the same time, I have a hard time sticking with my plans!

What type of technique do you use? Does it work all the time or do you struggle like me?

Scenes from the Weekend

2011-08-08T10:30:00.005-05:00

This weekend was one that I wouldn't want to repeat.

1. After driving to Tulsa and meeting the Boy and his parents for dinner, we drove out to his parents' house and spotted some smoke rising as the sun was setting. We didn't think much of it. Grass fires happen all the time in this area of the country and they do a great job of containing them.

2. Saturday afternoon, when the heat picks up to around 106, fires are across the main road from his parents' house. We start packing up cars with photos and neccesities and prepare to leave the house. The outlook is not good. The Red Cross has set up a cooling station in the parking lot next door.

3. For the first time ever, the Boy's parents leave their home for safety. We're now at a safe point on a ridge overlooking where the area of their home. We're not sure if the fires have jumped the road and we're praying that that black smoke isn't their neighbors' houses or their own.We hope the wind is the right direction to keep their home safe.

4. A storm rolls in, changing the direction of the wind yet again. Driving at about 40 mph, the winds bring light rain. We hope that more rain is on the way to help the fire fighters.

5. After the storm turned the fire to the other direction, they decide it is safe to go home. The Boy and I are hesitant but decide to go as well. There are water supply trucks stationed in the parking lot next door so we figure they've deemed it a safe area. We decide to stay and sit outside watching the sunset and keeping a look out for fires. The storm that rolled through dropped the temperature to around 82, a welcome change. Once the sun set, a pouring rain came through town and put out the remaining fires.

My thoughts go out to all those who lost their homes this weekend and I am so thankful that the winds and fire fighters protected this house.

We didn't get to make it to the concert, which had started around the time we were packing up. Ironically, when the storm came through, it knocked over the light rig for the Flaming Lips, who were going on in a few hours. Once we returned to the house, we decided to try to make their act but soon found out that the show had been canceled.

Fires in Oklahoma

2011-08-06T16:30:00.001-05:00

We have evacuated the Boy's parents' house and are at a safe point.
Keep us in your thoughts as we pray those black clouds arent their
house.

Weekend Links!

2011-08-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

This week the Boy has been at his parent's house outside of Tulsa. I always blame him for me never getting enough done. But as I'm sure you noticed, I didn't really post this week at all. Sorry, Boy, it's just me! Evidently I just suck at managing my time. Let's get better at that, yes? One thing I accomplished this week was magically learning how to french braid my hair! I've been trying for years and it just clicked all of a sudden. Next thing to learn: how to not get that creepy reptilianesque french braid look. This weekend I'll be going to Tulsa to join the Boy for a Flaming Lips concert in 115 degree weather!

If you get a chance, watch this movie, OSS 117: Cairo Nest of Spies. It's a French farce on an old series of James Bond type movies that were popular in the 1960's in France. It is so funny I almost gave myself an asthma attack laughing!

Check out Elements of Happiness. It's a Harvard study about well, you get it, and is actually really interesting. Plus it's got a really cool design!

For all you girls who like to read out there. Even better for those who like to write! There's this one as well about girls who don't read that is even more provocative!

I've been reading this book this week that I picked up at the library. Ever wonder why the Democrat national dudes, like Presidential candidates, have ignored the South for so long (Obama didn't even attempt to campaign in Arkansas)? Here's the answers from one guy. I think he's pretty spot on. It's a great overview as well to learn about political history in the South if you need a primer like I do!

On Recent Events

2011-08-02T12:56:00.002-05:00

"This is the great danger America faces--that we shall cease to be one nation and become instead a collection of interest groups: city against suburb, region against region, individual against individual.... If that happens, who then will speak for America? Who then will speak for the common good?"

Congresswoman Barbara Jordan of Texas in the keynote address at the 1976 Democratic National Convention

Rock at Life: Smartphone Saavy

2011-08-01T21:14:00.000-05:00

via here

Smartphones are a part of our lives, you can't deny it. Well, unless you have a "dumb" phone, as one friend put it. Over the weekend, the Boy taught me some really valuable knowledge to have when navigating and posting in the digital world with your smartphone.

So you know how phones have those fancy GPS things in them? Did you also know that when you take a photo of anything with your smartphone, it embeds the GPS coordinates into the file data? I knew that. But what I didn't know is that that data is transferable. I feel like a dumb butt for not thinking it through but really, I'm new to this whole smartphone thing! If you take a photo with your smartphone and post it to your blog of say, oh, your house, people can find it via that GPS coordinate that is saved into the file. Just by putting it into Picassa. It's that easy.

Creepy, eh? While this is great when you're on vacation and you want to remember the exact location or for location memories, or for organizing your photos via location, it's not so great for mobile blogging. Nice new TV stand? Post it to your blog and people now know where it is, to the exact location. It's an argument for why technology needs to have really strict regulations.

But really, the best way is to be aware and regulate it yourself. The Boy, when he saw me preparing a post with photos of locations I wouldn't want people in the interwebs to know, showed me a cool powerpoint from the government about operational security. Taking a picture of your bunk in a war zone? Say hello to an incoming bomb real soon.

The same goes for that cute girl who takes photos of everything. You see her in the park, taking a photo of her cute doggie in some cute outfit. I'm willing to bet that she's going to post them online later. If she's into sharing it with strangers, you could most likely search on Flickr, find it via location and time, and then find her photostream. Oh look, what a messy living room! And what a gorgeous display of desk organization at work! Look at that cute puppy! Ugh, a terrible commute through the nasty subway, ewww! Blam-o. She just gave away all of her secrets and the exact location of each. There goes the feminine mystique!

Can you say sexual assault? Or Your house getting robbed when you post photos of somewhere you are at the time that isn't your house?

So let's be safe together. You can turn off your camera's location data on most smartphones (like mine) all the time (my option). If you want to be able to track the location of photos, you'll either have to turn it off on every photo you plan on sharing or get a program to strip the data from the photo before you post it.

Being aware is the best defense!

Weekend Links

2011-07-29T09:40:00.002-05:00

Hey! I hope you had a great week. The Boy is finally on summer vacation from Law School! This weekend, I plan on spending a lot of time with him being irresponsible. By that I mean flying a kite, watching tv in our undies, and lally-gagging around. Adult life is too stressful sometimes and we need to bail out! I'm starting my weekend off with my bi-weekly payday dinner out with girls from work. We haven't been able to do it in a number of weeks with the whole gang so it should be fun! What are you doing this weekend?

Check out this guide to a mini makeover from Already Pretty. I am going to take this on really soon. Maybe we should do it together? Any takers? I think $5 for a makeover is an awesome steal!

Vanilla Cupcakes for two? Yes, Please! I made these the other night for a sweet tooth pick-me-up and they were terribly sweet and vanilla-y. I was enthralled. Perfect for a Sunday afternoon!

For all your blogger users out there, check out these tips from a mama in Springdale, AR! It's so cool to know other bloggers in the area, especially ones so fab as her. She's got all sorts of interesting tutorials out there so go check out her blog, even if you're not a blogger/blogger user!

Why We Love the South: Eudora Welty

2011-07-28T17:33:00.001-05:00

Via here

Whenever I go home, people ask my why I live in the South, why would anyone decide to more from a suburb of Boston to what is considered a “rural backwater?”

First, let me say that where I live now is actually busier, larger, richer, and moderately less Republican than where I grew up. I’m from a small town outside of Boston by a rough 45 minute drive through nasty traffic. We have cows. I remember a prom date fromQuincy (which Back Bayers consider the suburbs) noting this fact and stating, aghast, “You live in the boonies!”

It’s all relative to what you’re used to. I was probably, no definitely, a really annoying Northerner when I first moved here just under five years ago. But in reality, this is my home now, for better or worse. While I’ll never be a Southerner and have yet to be a card carrying Arkansan, this where I live. I don’t particularly like Fayetteville, it’s more of a temporary home till we move back to Little Rock. This last weekend when we saw all our LR friends reminded us of the fact that we “belong” there more than up here. Ironically, its not Southern enough here for us! The Boy, in his infinite wisdom, says it is because they were Union sided in the Civil War and they have always been disconnected from the rest of the state, both physically and socially (there wasn’t a safe highway till the late 90’s to get here). I think it’s because of all the Walmartians that relocate here from all other places.

In any case, I enjoy living in the South, despite what I might complain about. It’s a sweet tea life for me. I just recently started getting Southern Living, for goodness sakes!

A lot of the things that made me appreciate the South come from just two people, the Boy, obviously, and another very spectacularly smart man, Dr. Chuck Chappell. He retired the year I graduated and I made sure to take one class with him before I left. I wish I had taken more. The Boy took Faulkner with him and loved it. I took Southern Literature. He’s a huge reason why I can understand the South and how I began to learn to love it. He did it through the things that speak to me the most—books! He started with mostly short stories but as soon as I had time, I went for the meat.

I rencetly read Delta Wedding by Eudora Welty. While she is more widely known for her short stories like “The Wide Net,” “Why I live at the P.O.,” and my personal favorite “Death of a Traveling Salesman,” her books are something I really love.

Delta Wedding is in 1923 about a plantation family whose second oldest daughter is getting married. It’s at times disjointed but I find it’s ever better for those moments and puts forth Welty’s ideas on the South best.

I am so in love with Dabney, this bride-to-be. She is exasperating but makes everyone around her feel loved in an obviously coquette way. She hides her true feelings from others, barely admits them to herself, and then like a butterfly flits onto the next thing just as soon as the thought popped into her head. Delta Wedding describes a South that has gone and past but the characters, they remain on the Southern landscape and cannot be forgotten, even with the best intentions. There is a Dabney, a George, a Robbie, a Fairchild clan, in every moderately sized town in the South. Yet the complexity of their relationships is not glossed over by Welty, she lets them all lie as she sees them. And I have learned and loved the South all the more for it.

Please, go pick up this book. You can even read the first bits on Google Books! Yes, it’s a “girly” book but even for guys, it is appealing in another way. It’s not a book about a wedding just in the same way Mrs. Dalloway isn’t about a party.

About in AR: Politics in Arkansas-- Your guide to Jefferson-Jackson

2011-07-26T20:05:00.000-05:00

Great news! I've started and official twitter account for this blog so please follow it. I'll be tweeting new posts and awesome content throughout the week via twitter. Plus there might be a giveaway in the works! Follow @themadething

via here

This last weekend I went with the Boy to Little Rock to the Democratic Party of Arkansas' quarterly meeting and fundraising events that happen during the same weekend. It's called a Jefferson-Jackson day, JJ for short, and for those of you like me who had no idea what that was, it's basically just a dinner party and an excuse to drop a lot of funds towards the DPA and their activities.

Whatever your political affiliations, it's a weekend that was a lot of fun because you get to wear THREE OUTFITS! (Oh, be still my dress loving heart!) The Boy, unlike me, has been very actively involved in politics from day one. His mom and him get into pretty heated debates that anyone outside of the family would easily see as an almost throw down fight! So because of that, I've become involved so I can go to these events with him and because I like the volunteering aspect that goes with it.

Being from up north, I'm obviously a liberal. I come from a borderline Republican town, which is saying a lot for Massachusetts. But I never got involved in politics because, well, I simply didn't care. Up there I couldn't really make a difference; I was just another liberal in an already liberaled out place. Plus, I was a teenager and apathy is always part of that game.

But now, I'm the Young Democrat female Representative for the Third Congressional District. Fancy, fancy, huh? Basically, it means I now spend a boatload on dresses for events, like this past weekend and attend a lot of meetings to represent the youth of Northwest Arkansas. Our current congressman is Steve Womack, a Republican, and we live in what is the Republican stronghold of Arkansas, mostly due to the big business that calls this area home.

In any case, let me illustrate slightly how JJ works, and how much money you can expect to spend. I wish I had known all this before going!

You will most likely show up for pre-JJ events, like the YD's After Dark fundraiser ($25 per ticket) wearing a casually nice summery dress ($25-$40). You get slightly tipsy and listen to speeches about the great value youth brings to the table in elections and how you are needed to knock on doors and phone people during dinner to pester them about who they will vote for and to stick yard signs into the ground. You go to your hotel room ($80) and sleep as much as time allows, and drag your sorry tired bum, in yet another business causal outfit($25-$60), to registration to the ($free!) quarterly meeting first thing in the morning. After mixups on your name and/or position (because there always are), you sit in the quarterly meeting and listen to caucuses give updates and more speeches from probably the same people you heard the night before.

You sit there wondering how they look so rested after getting down on the dance floor the night before.

After meetings, you can go to optional secondary meetings and here all sorts of things from different caucuses (we went to the YD's candidate forum about how to be elected, or rather, how not to be. Tip #1: be able to ask for money!) Then you're free for a few hours to nap or go to other parties for caucuses (Stonewall Caucus has a pool party?) and prep for the night.

Ah, the main event.

Put on your newly bought duds, such as a formal cocktail dress ($50-??!!??) and accessories, and get your self pretty because pictures will be taken (unless you're me and just never bring a camera!). Head over to the Verizon Arena (yes, it is THAT big) where you enter using your good looks and ticket ($100) and head to your table. There are about 1500 other people here, wearing cocktail dresses to ball gowns, tuxes to just plain ol' suits, gossiping and socializing with all the other Democrat elite. Stuff your face, poised, with banquet food, enjoy the company of your table mates (Hey Saline County!) and get prepared for the speeches, again.

Yes, they will be the same ones you've heard two times already from the same people. It's practice for you to be able to spout it off later to voters!

Get ready for some Republican bashing, award bumping or dropping snaffus, and freezing in the overly air-conditioned arena. By the end of the night, the keynote speaker will start up, possibly bashing Arkansas or the Governor (to be funny? We're not sure), and end by making a contribution to the Party by doing something extravagant, like auctioning off his bolo tie to a lucky bidder for$1400! Head back to your hotel room (another $80) and dream about a Utopian world where Democrats rule it all and you can wear a new dress everyday.

I bet you it is exactly the same for the Republicans except that they bash the Democrats. Let me know if I'm wrong.

On the long drive to Little Rock!

2011-07-22T15:43:00.001-05:00

Open Letter to a Friend

2011-07-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

This is the first post in a series of open letters to friends. I've known some really awesome people in my life (and some not so awesome people) and I want to shout their praises to the rooftops. But since some of them are more private people, here's a open letter to a anonymous friend.

Via here

Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you well in Los Angeles.

I am so terribly proud of you for doing what you are right now. Going after your dreams is a life that should be commended. I hope that your job is everything you hoped for and that you are learning a lot. I'm sure it's a struggle sometimes and can totally suck, especially considering who is your boss. But I'm also sure you can endure it. If you can make it in a family business, you can do anything they throw at you. Family business children know the effort and pay off of hard work more than anyone.

It must be a huge change to go from school in one area, to school in another area, to an intern job in a completely different area, each move with it own cultural wonder and backlash. I'm willing to bet that the most recent move where you left behind your friends and the familiar for the new was difficult. Mine was and I have no idea how I would have handled it moving alone. Remember to distract yourself from your work from time to time with journeys into your new home. Discover it and internalize it.

I imagine you reading crappy scripts all day, dreaming up one of your own in the process but probably not having the time to set it down in writing. Please, don't lose the lines in your imagination. I remember a young man who once finished a book and sent it to all of his friends for criticism. That takes balls, to ask for any type of criticism from friends, particularly since you asked us to rip it apart. I hope I can return the gesture soon when I've finished my first manuscript. I daren't say book, it's too philosophical for what crap is coming out of my finger tips to the keys. As soon as you can, write it down, your thoughts and feelings and make something of it later. I want to know what those lines are.

I haven't been particularly the best friend ever; I have a habit of losing touch with friends, even family, over time. I get so involved with my little projects, this letter writing campaign for instance, and they matter so much to me I let other things fall by the wayside. A lot of the things I write on my blog are reminders for myself. Keep in touch with friends, lose weight, stop being a lazy ass. Those types of things. But they don't really do a whole lot to keep me going.

What does keep me going is knowing that people I know, people I care about, are doing things they dream about, that they are pursuing what they want with determination. You, in particular, remind me that if I work hard enough at it, I can realistically do the things I dream about.

And that's what I want to thank you for. Thanks for getting my butt back into gear and reminding me that once I used to write everyday because I enjoyed it and loved working towards something, if even just for my own happiness. I used to write short stories, even read one in public once (I'm still deciding if that was terrible or not. The story was.). But since I went to college, I let the damn academics get in the way. I mean the ones that were honored for writing, the ones that could see farther into the writing than I could, that just simply understood it better. What business did I have writing, it made me think?

But what business does anyone have writing? While I can have discussions about those artistic ideals of the starving artist that doesn't become anything till after they die, you are out there, working diligently. And I know someday soon, you're going to be someone in this lifetime. The Boy and I had a long talk about it the other day and I was so resistant to it until I remembered that a friend was doing that very thing.

I know that an open letter isn't really your style so I'm sorry if you find this embarrassing but I needed to say to everyone what a difference you have made in my life, despite the fact that we haven't talked in a while. I miss you and I hope so much that you are loving where you are in life right now, even if it is difficult.

With the most sincere affection,
Kim

Update on recent events

2011-07-19T20:26:00.001-05:00

That's what I feel like. My life has been really busy since you last heard from me. The Boy's birthday was on Sunday so I spent my week preparing for it and since then have been swamped in paperwork. I'm just exhausted.

Last week I started to seriously work on a novella and for the Boy's birthday, I dedicated it to him and made the promise that I would continue to work on it consistently. That means I'll be blogging a bit less. I'm shooting for three times a week.

I don't want to post my work in its entirety because I'm so afraid someone would steal it/ my ideas since the internet is rampant with that sort of thing. It happened to a friend in high school when she tried to sell art work and taught me a great lesson. So here's your sample!

           “Thought you were dead, at first,” the stranger said to the boy when he heard stirring. He wore a grey suit, the jacket thrown over the passenger seat, his tie loosened and his hat cocked to one side and resting on the back of his head, revealing a newly receding hairline. “Takin’ a nap on the side of the road is never a good idea. Didn’ your mother teach you that, kid?”
           The stranger turned to look at the backseat where the boy was waking up from his dream. He felt like he was still flying. “Where am I? My mother needs Father.” The boy looked out the window at the fields of wheat that whizzed by, the wheat waving goodbye behind them in a cloud of red dust.
           “Oh, sorry, kid. Didn’t mean to hurt your feelin’s. We’re on our way to the city.” He reached into the glove compartment and fumbled a bit with the papers and empty cigarette boxes. “I figur’d you either needed help or were hitchhiking your way there so when I saw you, a heap just lyin’ on the side of the road, I picked you up. That is, once I figur’d you weren’t dead.” Once he found a box that still had a cigarette left, he passed it to the boy, glancing over his shoulder.
           “Could you get me a smoke out o’ this here carton? It’s so damned difficult while driving.” The boy took the box from the stranger, thinking of the warnings his mother had said before. Never talk to strangers. Don’t take things from strangers. Stay away from automobiles they are dangerous. The boy opened up the small box that was emblazoned with a red and white logo to find two slender white sticks. He handed one to the man.
           “What is that?” he asked, unashamed.
           “What?” the man looked quickly over his shoulder as he took the cigarette. “Oh, you must really be from out in the boonies. It’s called a cigarette. You smoke it. Watch.”
           The man took a small silver box out of glove box, flicked off the top and a flame shot up out of the small box. “This is a lighter,” the man mumbled out of one corner of his mouth, the cigarette pursed tightly between his lips in the other. He held the flame, flickering from the wind, up to the cigarette, but it wouldn’t catch. “Dang winda’s,” the man said, fumbling with the lighter and moving the cigarette to his fingers. “Jump up here, kid. Take the wheel a tick.”
           The boy hesitated. Stay away from strangers but be polite if you meet one. He remembered her face as she stood on the steps looking forever into the wheat. “Yes, sir.” He clambered over the seat, feeling the smoothed hide of an animal underneath his legs as he slid down into the passenger seat, crushing the suit jacket.
           “Put your hand on the wheel, right here.” The man tapped the steering wheel with the heel of his palm and looked at the boy who looked back with empty eyes. “Come on kid, don’t you want to drive? Every kid wants to drive. Just put your hand right here and hold it straight. It’s easy.” The boy put his hand gingerly on the wheel and nodded, “Yes, sir.”
           “That’s a good feller.” The stranger held his hand up to shield the cigarette from the wind cupping the end and lighting it with a puff of smoke. He breathed in deeply and let the boy hold the wheel for a minute, enjoying letting someone else drive for a moment. As he let out his breath, the smoke rolled from his mouth and quickly out the window, disappearing in the wind. “Thanks, kid. You’re a real pal.” He took the wheel from the boy who quickly scooted away on the seat towards the door. “So what’s your name?”

Rock at Life: One for the Boys

2011-07-13T12:45:00.000-05:00

I know I have been doing a lot of guides lately and I apologize for not posting some more riveting content. But stick with me fellas, I promise something ground breaking will be forthcoming a little later on this week in honor of someone’s very special birthday. It’s gonna be a doozy.

Remember weeks ago when I said there would be a post for the guys? Ladies, you can still garner some really awesome info too!

Sometimes it is best to admit that you don’t know a damn about something. But never, ever, I repeat, EVER, do that in front of a sales person, especially when it comes to cars or electronics or appliances, basically any sort of big purchase. Some people will tell you to let them educate you on the products since it is their job, which is fine. However, letting them educate you on the genre puts you in a powerless position where they can feed you half truths to sell something more expensive. Sure, it really might be the better product but is it the best for you?

Plus, do you want to look like a total tool when you can’t debate over the merits of 1080p versus 720p and make the rookie mistake of ignoring the hertz?
The first and foremost step towards any big purchase is determining whether or not you really need it. Sure, you might want that nice big TV to watch True Blood on but is it really necessary? Do you need that money for something else? If you don’t feel any pangs of guilt, move on but if you feel an inkling, maybe it’s time to sit down and really assess the situation. And for heaven’s sake, don’t buy big purchases on a whim. Your (insert female relation here) will want to kill you if you do. You better be able to back it up, buddy.

How do we avoid the female relation trap/get the best deal on the best product? Do your research. I don’t mean on specific products, I mean on types of products. For instance, a car--what kind best fits your needs? A roadster or a hatchback? Educate yourself on the price ranges and narrow the playing field. Sure, that Bugatti looks amazing with you sitting in it, driving down Tuscan roads, poplars swaying with the wind from your speed. But can you put your dog in that with a weekend bag? (Plus are you Simon Cowell? Or a Top Gear host on a challenge?) Watch the slobber on the leather, pup. What are the merits of a Wankel engine? Is diesel the route for you? Same goes for electronics and appliances. Make sure you understand all that jargon they use to get you to buy it. While 1080p is better it means nothing without hertz!

Now that you have an idea of what you’re looking at, start to narrow it down into specific products you want to look at. Like the general idea of a sedan? Check out the stats on a Honda Civic, Toyota Camry, and related ilk. Check the ratings, reviews, and ask your friends. Get those little books your parents used when buying a car. Now is the time to find out the dirt and make eliminations. And yes, don’t forget about how the item in question makes you feel. If you hate it and it is not absolutely necessary to your life, will you use it?
It is time to go take on a sales team. Go look at the physical form of your desired purchase and feel it. Look at it, test it out, give it the triple, quadruple over. Look at every nook and cranny you can. See anything that looks out of place? Ask about it. Judge the sales person’s demeanor when he or she answers you but do not depend on it. Go back and do some more research and search specifically for the things you noted. Problem with the stability of the stand attachment of the TV on that particular one? Is it a common issue or just one? Make sure you know the ins and outs. Make sure you can live with the issues.
Decide and stick with it. Go get the best price. You know what the bad parts about your purchase are now; you are ready. While you can’t negotiate the price of a brand new fridge, you can with cars and used goods so make sure you play it tough. If you can get it elsewhere, make sure they know that. Walk away if it is not the price you want.

You hold the power now, son.

Peach by D.H. Lawrence

2011-07-12T06:34:00.001-05:00

Via here

Would you like to throw a stone at me?
Here, take all that's left of my peach.

Blood-red, deep:
Heaven knows how it came to pass.
Somebody's pound of flesh rendered up.

Wrinkled with secrets
And hard with the intention to keep them.

Why, from silvery peach-bloom,
From that shallow-silvery wine-glass on a short stem
This rolling, dropping, heavy globule?

I am thinking, of course, of the peach before I ate it.

Why so velvety, why so voluptuous heavy?
Why hanging with such inordinate weight?
Why so indented?

Why the groove?
Why the lovely, bivalve roundnesses?
Why the ripple down the sphere?
Why the suggestion of incision?

Why was not my peach round and finished like a billiard ball?
It would have been if man had made it.
Though I've eaten it now.

But it wasn't round and finished like a billiard ball.
And because I say so, you would like to throw something at me.

Here, you can have my peach stone.

Rock at Life: Of a Feather

2011-07-11T20:06:00.000-05:00

Via here

Moving around and traveling will separate you from friends. It's a given. My best friends are in Alaska and France (here's a chance to practice your English Marjo!) and I miss them terribly. We are also terrible at keeping in touch. I haven't heard from either of them in a while and feel like a bad friend. But life gets in the way sometimes-- how is a girl to cope?

Here's some tips on how to stay in touch. It doesn't happen with magic so it's up to you to make the relationships last. I don't know about you but I have almost completely stopped using facebook since I broke my addiction while living in a very much internet suckfest that was France (for the win :) ).

Pick up the phone. Sometimes calling while you're grocery shopping is enough but make sure that you can both set aside time to have a heart to heart once in a while. You can't dish everything in the check out line!
Skype, or other chatting programs, are a great way to keep in touch. Seriously, when did she dye her hair purple!?!
Snail Mail. I wish I did this more often and will be getting addresses for all my friends soon. Plus shopping for cute stationary is so much fun!
Email. You check it all the time anyway. Don't have hours to pour your heart out? Just send a quick "You are an amazing person and we need to chat soon" reminder. They always make me smile and I bet they'll make your friends smile too!
Hanging out. This isn't always an option but planning a trip to go visit is something you need to do every once in a while! Last year we three road tripped and flew our way to meet up in Norfolk and it was a blast.

I hope these help you out. I know you've thought of all of these but sometimes seeing them all reminds you to do them. I'm going to go email and phone bomb all my friends for addresses now!

Patience My Friends, Patience.

2011-07-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

This last week was both good and bad and I'm still processing it. I'm sorry I didn't share as much as anticipated last week--my iphone isn't the easiest to write long reflective posts on and my coverage wasn't the best out on the Point (much to the Boy's joy at his being superior!).

I'm going to write a longer, probably tearful, post later on when I'm ready so for right now, it's back to the normal schedule.

I'm back home in Fayetteville and do not want to go back to work tomorrow but who does after a vacation?

Rays of morning sunlight across our 50s fridge

2011-07-08T09:43:00.001-05:00

From Lamartine's "The Lake"

2011-07-07T21:52:00.001-05:00

Thus driven forth forever to new shores,
Born toward Eternal Night and never away,
Sailing the Sea of Ages, can we not
Drop anchor for one day?

The last sunset

2011-07-07T19:26:00.000-05:00

Scene from the Cape Ann Brewery

2011-07-07T08:56:00.000-05:00

Time to let go

2011-07-06T07:07:00.000-05:00

Sorry I hadn't posted anythigb really yet since I got here. The boy left yesterday afternoon to go back home for class and I'm still at the beach house for the next few days.since I'm posting from my iPhone, I apologize for typos! The keys are really tiny!

My flight arrived later on Friday night and we didn't leave for the beach house until almost noon time on Saturday. It's always a huge production to get going. We arrived and had lunch and walked around the Point, the area that my beach house is in. It's a small peninsula that juts out into the harbor.

To give you an idea of what it is like here and the history of the place, it's best to know that while other hours have done improvements on their once shack like homes, we have not. My maternal grandfather built it in his back yard from left overs from his house building business and would always say "never do anything to the house! We don't own the land and they could just take it back whenever they want!"

He was right. There is a dividing line between the from and back of he point at a road leading out to robins island and it begins there. Thetown has decided to not renew the leases for those houses on the front of the point; some are from the 1890s. And the houses must be removed when the lease is over. However, the houses in the back half, which are much smaller and less built up on, the plots they are on will be sold. We have first rights as lease holders but if we choose not to buy, it will go to auction.

The projected bridge pease cost for the next year while they prepare the plots for sale is around $13,000. An amount my family can't afford. So the plan is to sell the house and the lease to someone to pay off my parents debt on their own house.

While it makes me so upset and sad, I know it is time to let it go. I spent summers here as a kid, swimming on the mud flats and swat v at green heads, hateful biting flies. At one time a large part of my moms side of the family owned houses here but they have all sold out. Almost everyone we know did.

But there are so many angles of politics involved it's hard to see anything happening otherwise. The front of the point are houses built up fromthe shacks they were into huge expensive houses, some with jacuzzis even. Ours doesnt even have ceilings between the rooms let alone doors. The townies dont have access and they want it. And it allstarted be ause of the waste water the homes produce. It's over EPA regulations and what not so they have to do something. These were built in the 50s or earlier meaning we had to recently install a holding tank but before it just got dumped out into the ocean.

But having the Boy here reminded me of how much it has changed and that even now it is nit what I want. There are so many more people here than when I was a kid, cars constantly illegally parked along the waters edge. They bring with them a much less relaxed state of mind, especially when they get a parking ticket. Even the shape of the beach has changed and it's not as deep making swimming near impossible.

I live in Arkansas now--I wouldnt be able to come up more than once all summer--it is time to let it go.

Weekend links!

2011-07-01T10:10:00.002-05:00

I'm headed off to the homeland after work! The boy is flying through Detroit an I'm headed via Charlotte! Hopefully we'll meet in Providence without a hitch!

The best, if only, thing security cameras are good for--here

This is why I need a dog. Seriously, if we go to war a dog can save you.

Working doing rewarding things is something I want to achieve. While I know the risks of working for myself (thanks mom and dad for this valuable lesson!) I would love to work for myself on my own terms and live the life I want enabled by that. Reading things like this make it seem completely possible someday!

Have a great weekend and watch for periodic updates!

Things to come...

2011-06-30T10:00:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow evening I will be leaving for my family's beach house on the North Shore of Massachusetts in a small fishing village. It's more of a shack, really, with no hot water, tv, phone, or anything more than fans from the 1950's to keep cool (including a fridge from 1956 or so!). It's been my sanctuary, and my mother's, for years.

Things have changed and this will be the last summer, most likely, that we will have it. It's a long and complicated story involving summer people versus townies and exclusion and wanting to be part of something. They're giving up a large portion of the tax base to have a place to access the water. I can't blame them but it feels so greedy from the summer homeowner perspective. My family has stayed out of it for the most part and we're most likely going to lose it this summer, not because it's being taken away like houses right on the shore but that the projected rent is probably going to be astronomical. My mother has mentioned that it has served it's purpose and it might be time to moved on.

I am completely heartbroken. When I was a kid I promised myself that I would spend one whole summer there but real life got in the way.

This next week is going to be exciting and difficult, happy and sad, all wrapped into one. But I'm going to share it with you, now that I've finally got my email blogger client up and running so I can look at it in the future and remember it. I'm going to writing and posting for myself. I will be posting from my iphone so please be patient if there is weird formatting issues or if things don't look super well put together.

I hope you enjoy the story.

From Letters to Crushes.

2011-06-30T06:24:00.000-05:00

"Someday, I will have a life.

It will be fulfilling and complicated and hilarious and tiring and real. And fun. There will be work and alcohol and sex and public transportation and way more coffee than is healthy. There will be different cities within each year, and art, and better friends than I have now. There will be responsibility and sleep and maybe even, someday, children. And a crush like the one I have on you won't matter at all.

But today I am 17 and unusually lonely for my age and you matter much more than you should."

Via here

Southern Flair: True Blood

2011-06-29T20:42:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't become addicted, go watch the first few episodes of True Blood. And in case you live under a rock, it's about vampires, humans, and all sorts of other creatures in Bon Temps, Louisiana.

After asking a lot of different people, especially those from Louisiana, I've learned that the show is a great image of what small town swampy Louisiana is like, well, minus all the freaky things that happen there.

Why is this show so true to form?

The characters, both the main ones and just people that are shown for an instant, are people you could most certainly see walking around in the South, especially southern Louisiana. Sookie may be something else but her brother Jason with his cut up Bon Temps football t-shirts tooling around in his truck-- there's one of those at every high school.
Religion plays a large role in the first season--I won't reveal anything!-- but the sheer drive it holds over people, from various forms of christianity to voodoo, is something I have noticed. While Massachusetts isn't exactly "heathen" country, the role religion plays in life in the South is much more pronounced. Your church is your extended family and religion is considered the best solution to anything by many.
The sets--like Sam's Bar Merlott's and even the roadways-- are, I'm told, very similar to what you see way down south in the Bayou land. And for certain, every small southern town has some kind of bar/restaurant combo like Merlott's. A lot of the main locations are actually replicas of locations in Louisiana!
While some of the accents are complete crap, the word choice generally rings true to the Southerner's word choice. I really wish Sookie would say "Kiss my grits!" sometime but nevertheless, you can totally see her shouting it out while running away from some kind of evil.

Not only is the show addicting and a great replication of the image of the South but it's critically amazing. It doesn't get nearly enough credit for being a great show from the academics.

Birthday!

2011-06-28T05:55:00.002-05:00

Via here

Today is my 23rd birthday!

I'm celebrating with the Boy by getting pretty and going out for a nice dinner. We can rarely afford nor really have the time to go out for dinner so it's extra special when we get to go out and celebrate something. I'm not sure where I'd like to go yet but I'll have plenty of time to think it over.

I am so thankful that I have survived another year and I always remember the people I knew that did not make it to the age I turn today. Thank you everyone who has helped get me to where I am today. (Especially you, Mom, Dad, and Brother!)

The Boy's family surprised me with a cake on Saturday night and I felt so welcome and loved. Birthdays have typically been small affairs, as my birthday is right before the major vacation week in New England, despite my efforts to have parties. For that reason, birthdays are slightly tinged with regrets about flaky friends and missed opportunities.

But on my 21st birthday, a certain young man traveled from far away just to celebrate it with me and I couldn't think of a better person to get a year older with. (Okay, no vomiting on the other side of the computer please.)

And most importantly, thanks everyone for taking the time out of your day to read these posts I write. It really means a lot to see my count meter hit more than 10 in a day!

Weekend links!

2011-06-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

I'm headed off to Tulsa tonight to rejoin with the Boy! I'm so excited to see him after missing him the past two nights. I never thought sleeping alone in our bed would be so difficult. You'd think I'd relish the extra room...

Here's some links to start the weekend right!

Huffpo and Times have all been talking about this drunk lady and her drunk cooking show.

My 23rd birthday is Tuesday! I want this cake terribly (minus the caffeine-- I would be bouncing off the walls for days!).

My first Southern Living came last night!!! exciting! But while waiting I found Southern Flourish-- an online younger version :)

Antilamentation

2011-06-24T06:00:00.001-05:00

Antilamentation
By Dorianne Laux

Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read
to the end just to find out who killed the cook, not
the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark,
in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication, not
the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot,
the one you beat to the punchline, the door or the one
who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones
that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed
your mother, sunk like a dog in the living room couch,
chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights
over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings
across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed
coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still
you end up here. Regret none of it, not one
of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing,
when the lights from the carnival rides
were the only stars you believed in, loving them
for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake,
ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house
after the TV set has been pitched out the window.
Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied of expectation.
Relax. Don’t bother remembering any of it. Let’s stop here,
under the lit sign on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.

Sometimes a blank page is everything.

2011-06-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

Alone.

2011-06-22T17:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight is just for me. And I will enjoy it. Immensely.

Makeup Tutorial: Cleo Eye

2011-06-21T20:11:00.000-05:00

For a change of pace, I thought I'd give you a little treat (an subsequently alienate my male readers :/ Sorry guys! I promise I'll do a post just for you soon.). The Boy often comments that I write a "girl blog" meaning it only appeals to women. I know there are some male readers out there so I apologize that this probably isn't your thing. But on the other hand, if you have a rad girl in your life who you think would love this--send it her way and score some brownie points.

I love reading makeup tutorials, like those of Keiko Lynn, but who can seriously afford/spend all their money on makeup unless it's an obsession or true love. I'm a pretty simple girl when it comes to makeup so buying a million shades for a once in a while looks just isn't me. Let's get back to basics that anyone can create with just the bare bones you have in your kit. No need to go visit Sephora!

Here's a pretty awesome look featured in a few Mark (Avon) catalogs ago that I fell in love with:

Via mark. May 2011 Magalog 5'11 Campaigns 10 & 11

I really wish I could pull off makeup like this daily but I think my coworkers would give me a hard time.

So here's how to create this look!

Do what you normally do to prep your face (you're using sunscreen right?). Mine's sunscreen, pressed matte powder and eye primer/concealer

Line the top lid with your choice color, extending the line out. Depending on the angle, you could make it doe eyed by tilting it down or sharper by tilting up. Experiment to see what fits you best.
Line the bottom lid, extending the line out again parallel to the line from the upper lid. This creates two separate lines that do not touch.

Using your color of lighter eye shadow, apply to lid and between the two lines. Use a darker shade in the crease to create dimension.
Blend.

Look at your bad self in the mirror and give yourself the hottest look you know how!

Enjoy and remember, have fun! It took me a few tries to get it right and I still need work at it.

(photos taken with instagram, my new favorite app!)

Weekend links!

2011-06-19T09:59:00.002-05:00

So the weekend is almost over--Savor the last bits with these links! (Don't forget to call your Dad today! It's Father's Day!)

Are you completely sick of the bird trend that puts birds on EVERYTHING. Seriously--what is up with this? How did this start? If you're sick of it like me check out this hilarious video. The Boy and I now annoyingly shout out "Put a BIRD! on it" whenever we see birds plastered on items. If you're more into outright hatred, look at this seething blog post.

I wrote about body image this week and then noticed a huge trend that has picked up this week. Check out Gala Darling's interview series about fashion blogging that is eye opening (but I found quickly became redundant and boring). Still worth a look-see.

Summer Roadtrip? I'll be skipping doing one this summer and taking off to go to the family's beach house (more on this much later). Check out these free guides.

Southern Flair: What is the modern "Southern Lady"?

2011-06-16T18:58:00.001-05:00

via here

What does being a "Southern lady" mean in today's South?

The Gone with the Wind sort of Southern lady, dressed in layers upon layers of petticoats and bustles, never really existed. While there might be some instances, it is an idealized image from Hollywood created to tell a tale. Even still, there's a part of that variety of prim woman who can get rough and dirty and be helpless all at the same time wrapped in up in every modern Southern lady.

So what makes up the modern Southern lady? What makes her tick?

The most obvious thing is that she is proud to be Southern and, when outside of the South, is easily recognizable as such. Be it a Southern cadence, over use of the word "ya'll," or just looking like one, a Southern lady is noticeable and memorable. Being a Southern lady, which is all tied up is class, economic, and social issues, is not to be confused with a Southern gal, girl, or other diminutives. We should never confuse the two types for fear of offending the Southern lady.

Traditionally part of the gentrified class, the Southern lady has an affinity for stylish clothing and shoes, often wearing ensembles that may be considered "flashy" in less colorful locales. She decorates her home in a similar fashion, using color and flowers often as centerpieces in her designs. Seasonal changes are obligatory, specifically for holidays. Even if she is employed, she is a homemaker extraordinaire: she cares for her children and husband with devotion, loving (almost) every moment unconditionally. Our Southern lady is their best cheerleader from the sidelines, bruise kisser, and cook. Be sure to notice that while she on the sidelines cheering, she is a constructor of perfection in smallest details to keep it all working as she sees fit.

Gracious, she never complains about her own problems, except to her dear, dear friends, but discussing the neighbor's is always encouraged. Gossip is a part of daily life in the South and quite second nature to the Southern lady. Yet despite craving gossip and being forever curious about the state of others' lives, the Southern lady is sly in her carefully determined pecking order, conforming to society yet pushing it at the same time.

This curiosity can often lead to general crabbiness in old age, as well as conversations that the listener would be happy to avoid, so Southern ladies would do well to remember to keep gossip within reins.

Despite her girly tendencies, our Southern lady can whoop and holler with the boys. However, she will only get down and dirty when necessary. If stranded on the side of an often traveled road, she will appear helpless to entice aid. And even though she is most often seen in heels, it would not be shocking to see her barefoot in the garden or sipping a beer on the porch covered in mud with her dogs.

But with all this knowledge and independence, she can be stubborn to a point and can be easily agitated when things do not go her way. It is best not to cross a Southern lady to avoid the hell fire she can create. She will fix her problems but will first get others to do it for her, not out of laziness but out of a complex yet strict set of social manners.

Whether in frayed jean shorts of a dress and heels, our Southern lady weathers it all with an overstated grace, especially when she coos, "Aw honey, bless your heart" which any non-Southern would constantly know was a completely misleading statement.

Rock at Life: Love the Flesh through Clothes

2011-06-13T19:59:00.000-05:00

Being a busty, curvy girl, I feel like a Marilyn in a Twiggy world. I have a hard time finding clothes that fit properly because my bust and hips are so much curvier than what the "it" girl is supposed to have. My coworkers are mostly male, which means I have to be especially mindful of how things fit to ward off wandering eyes. And it really sucks a lot of the time, especially since I fluctuate in my size often since one tiny gain makes such a difference in my size. You wouldn't notice it unless you were trying to dress me.

Getting dressed is probably my least favorite part of the day because I am always dissatisfied with how my clothes look and how one day a pair of pants will fit but be uncomfortable the next week. I've been lucky enough to find a job that allows me to make an investment in my appearance and finally spend money on clothes, good clothes, at reasonable prices. By "good" clothes, I mean ones that fit perfectly, compliment my idea of myself and carry my self expression, and generally make me feel good about myself.

I owe a lot of this to the Boy who has shown me that shopping for deals doesn't mean you have to only shop at places like Forever 21 or even Old Navy where there are mostly on trend pieces that fall apart in a matter of moments. Don't get me wrong, these places fit a need in our lives, heck I have a pair of teal keds from XXI. But you shouldn't think that you're spending your money wisely there like I once did.

Since being comfortable in my own skin has a lot to do with my clothing choices, the Boy convinced me to try shopping at stores like Banana Republic and Dillards, stores I would have never set foot into a few years ago. It took some getting used to shopping completely out of season and waiting for things to go on super final sale with coupons and enough gumption to make it affordable. But I'm paying less than what I did at Old Navy and the related ilk and getting clothes of much better quality that actually fit well.

And I feel great. I'm steadily reducing the number of outfits I try on in the mornings, the number of freak outs about having nothing to wear that involves tears and feeling like a disproportional fatty. My measurements are still a challenge but it's become a lot easier knowing that there's more options if I'm willing to work hard to get a good sale on clothing that normally can cost three hundred or more at regular price. The quality and cut make me feel like a person that could drop that amount of money on one item.

So why should listen to me? Let me share my measurements with you, measured today, and you can judge for yourself how I should feel.

Pant Size: 6-10
Shirts: M-L
Dress Size: This really varies but can go 4-10 depending on the cut
Bra Size: 32DD

Measurements in Inches:
Height: 5 feet 7 inches
Bust: 37 inches
Natural Waist: 29.5 inches
Hips: 37 inches
Bum: 41 inches

I'm not a disproportional fatty by any means but the media of skinny waifs with tiny chests and boyish hips make me feel that way. I'm sure you feel that way too sometimes. Even guys have a lot to live up to, with hunky muscled chiseled chin stars on tv (Don't forget this ladies! They are self conscious too!). We shouldn't let ourselves feel this way simple because of some overwhelming images and trying to squeeze our measurements, our beautiful bodies, into clothes that are meant for someone else.

Here's my tips for finding clothes that fit well in the styles you want:

-Do some research. That awesome skinny jean you saw yesterday on that girl may look great but is it suited for someone your shape (notice how I'm not saying size!). I look top heavy in skinnies, not because I'm fat but because my weight is on my hips and bust. Us curvy girls look better in boot cuts or wide legs so look into style options. If you REALLY need those skinnies, look for ways to make them fit your shape better, such as adding boots to the outfit.

-Take a bunch of items into the fitting room. We all know sizes vary by cut and designer so avoid getting the wrong size by taking in a number of different ones. Don't look at the size or try them on based on size but try them on first and see which fits the best before looking at the tag.

-Shop out to season and get quality on the cheap. I got three sweaters that fit perfectly from Banana Republic and the Gap for around 10$ each! I can't wait for fall.

-If it doesn't fit right, put it back.

Go out and rock that body you have, Twiggy or Marilyn. Tell yourself you're beautiful in the mirror at least once a day and mean it. It makes a huge difference.

Don't forget about your Imagination!

2011-06-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

You are beautiful.

2011-06-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

Weather got you down?

2011-06-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

Weekend links!

2011-06-10T10:30:00.001-05:00

What are you plans for the weekend? I'm looking forward to getting down and dirty and making some friends at Democrats at Work Saturday after a quick trip to the Farmers' Market!

Three links to make you're Friday even more awesome:

Japanese dude getting put on by a Istanbul ice cream vendor-- Smiles abound

LED's + boring countryside= Most amazing sheep herding I've ever seen

Need some summer reading?-- check out this list

Enjoy the weekend!

About in AR: Fayetteville's Block Ave

2011-06-07T21:12:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned before, Fayetteville has a lot of small boutique type stores, a lot of which are centralized in the downtown area of Fayetteville. While you can find a ton of stores throughout the city, there's a lot along just a few streets--Block Avenue in particular is one of these areas!

Block, going from Dickson to the Square (Home of the Farmer's Market), has tons of great stores to visit, especially if you're making a day trip to the area. Start off by parking on the Square (free for two hours!) and hitting the Visitor's Center, which provides great information about what Fayetteville has to offer. There's no better way to start than continuing down Block. The City of Fayetteville just completed a major renovation of the street and there's some interesting parking down the other end of the one way street. Avoid crazy car maneuvers if you're not a local is my advice. You'll hear all the locals complain about it but it's a great place to find free parking on weekends for going to Dickson if you can handle it!

So let's take a quick tour down Block (I'm skipping some things, like Cromwell Architecture, Free Geek, and the salons, which there are a number of, I just don't know enough about them to tell you!):

Starting from the Square:

Visitor's Center

Riff Raff-- A fabulous home decor and fashion boutique with all sorts of funky items, a large portion of which is local. Run by a even more fabulous recently graduated from U of A young lady!

KNWA-- A local news station--peer into the window for a sneak peak at the action!

Town & Country-- For a more mature woman, there are some really great finds. Liz Fulton and her staff will do whatever it takes to help you find that perfect outfit!

Bank of Fayetteville--Pop in for a quick gander at the old fashioned fan system run by belts and one motor and the beautiful crown molding!

David Adams Jewelry--Just gorgeous! Wish I could afford some pieces from them!

French Quarters Antiques-- Imported from France and abroad

Hugo's--A great underground (literally) place to have lunch. Try their burgers or their quiches!

Sound Warehouse--Record store extraordinaire! Can't find that elusive CD? Try here.

B-Fit Studio-- I have been dying to try this place out. They look like a really great place to try some new pilates and yoga moves.

Maxine's Tap Room--Owned by a smart lady, Andrea Foren, it was recently awarded the best smoke free establishment in Fayetteville. They have bands most weekends and I've heard they're recently added a beer pong table! It's a old Fayetteville standard--I've heard tales of when Maxine used to serve you if you were high enough to reach the counter! Andrea has brought the life back into her family's establishment and is doing an impeccable job.

Tables and Ale--I've never been here nor plan on going here. The owner was a huge meanie to me when I worked in my last job. But stop in and make you own opinion and let me know how it went.

Good Things Boutique--They sell sustainable goods in a good way! True Fayetteville flavor.

Little Bread Company--We're talking homemade bread and sandwiches on said bread. My Frenchness melts.

World Treasures--An eclectic shop of all sorts of imports from primarily South America.

That's certainly not everything on Block so drop by and check it out. It's a great afternoon activity!

Rock at Life: Learning how to let go and have fun

2011-06-02T20:46:00.000-05:00

College days are over but that doesn't mean you can't let go on a weekday and just let yourself have a great time. I've been doing a lot of that lately, evident in my lack of posting.

The Boy has started back up school and I'm working three positions as co-workers are on vacation/gave their notice. It's been a rough time all around so we've been taking a lot of time out of our schedules lately to relax. Even though it's super hot outside right now, I'm sitting in a hammock in my living room writing this post. This girl knows how to chill these days.

While I do no condone alcoholism in any way, sometimes you just need a drink when you come home. It's learning when to let go and how much that really matters, no matter what you pleasure, be it alcohol, blaring music, or yoga. Anything can become an addiction if you let it, some more unhealthy than others.

The best thing is putting on a mix of really awesome music and dancing around your room/apartment/nearby park. Nothing, I say, NOTHING, can beat that. So here's a really great mix for you:

Number one. Oldie buy AWESOME.

Number Two. NquiteSFW

Number Three. No video sometimes rocks.

Number Four. So Weird. So Good.

Number Five. Last but not last, do what the music tells you.

So guys. Relax and just Let GO!

Opps.

2011-06-01T18:50:00.000-05:00

I've been really busy this week as we're down staff and haven't really had the energy to blog once I get home. I promise that I will post something tomorrow. I SWEAR I WILL ACCOMPLISH THIS GOAL.

So there. I'm working on getting better at doing the things I set out to do and stop procrastinating my life away.

Weekend update

2011-05-29T22:23:00.001-05:00

I hope you guys are having a great weekend! I'm still in Tulsa with the boy's family returning to their humble abode after witnessing the adventrous awesomness that is pirates of the carribean 4! Tomorrow will be devoted to relaxing and getting ready for the week. How has you been doing? What have you been up to?

Weekend links!

2011-05-27T11:53:00.000-05:00

Holy Tornado!- Some of the best footage I’ve ever seen of a tornado. It hit Chickasha, where the Boy’s grandparents live. Barely missed them! Bonus: Check out BBC’s hilarious commentary. Terrorism of WIND!

100pushups- I can’t do ten, let alone 100! They’re really great for your arms, chest, spine, and even abs. Check out this easy to follow plan that’s based on your current fitness level and do 100 pushups in 6 weeks or less.

Videos from Red State Update- Hilarious satire of conservatives in the South. Even if you’re not into politics, if you live in the south this will resonate like nothing else. I love when people complain about having to pay taxes but then demand services when things go wrong...

Have a great Memorial Weekend everyone! I’ll be in Tulsa, and possibly Chickasha, this weekend so watch for a photo update.

Rock at Life: Workplace Workout

2011-05-25T19:04:00.001-05:00

I am a lazy bum when it comes to taking care of myself. Since graduating, I’ve certainly been feeling the weight gain now that I have a desk job and don’t walk around campus or have a top of the line gym at short walk away..

For the past few weeks I’ve been trying to figure out some quick exercises I can do every hour or so at work to give my eyes and mind a break and get healthy. Here’s a quick five minute routine you can do without leaving your chair that won’t scare your coworkers.

If you take five minutes out of every hour to do this or every time you get up to refill your drink of choice, we’re talking at least thirty minutes of exercise throughout the day. I set an alarm to go off every hour so I remember to take a break. I’ve narrowed it down to 5 exercises but there are others you can adapt to fit your needs and to change it up a bit. For all of these exercises, sit at the edge of your chair to get the biggest range of motion.

Let’s get moving!

Hip Flexors

Raise your leg from your hip, keeping your knee bent. Raise it till you feel it in your hip and hold it for two seconds. Repeat on other side for a total of 20.

Leg Extensions

Raise your leg with knee straight so the raised leg is just past your other bent knee. Lower it down completely and repeat on other side for total of 20 reps.

Chair Squats

These look a little bit silly but if you’re at a cubical, no one will notice. From sitting, stand up, keeping knees bent, till your bum is off the chair but you’re not fully standing up. Sit down. See if you can get as close as you can without touching your bum to your chair. Make sure your weight is in your heels. Repeat 10 times.

Triceps Dip: Squat facing away from your chair and put your hands on the edge of the seat with fingers facing forward. Use your arms to dip down and up. Do this 10 times.

Side Bends: Sitting, bend from side to side, keeping your abs tight and back straight. Gimme 20!

Twists: Last one! You can do it! In the same position, twist your whole shoulder girdle completely from side to side, abs tight back straight. 20 times!

So how long did it take you? Not very long huh? If we do this every so often at work to take breaks, we’ll be pretty rad lookin’ in no time. Heck, you could even do some of these while on the phone if you have a headset. Still try to work in cardio at least three times a week for at home workouts to keep your heart healthy.